Cut Me Open I'm Made Of Blackjacks

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel, Julian, Mike, Dave, Rich + Others.
Rating: 15 + Violence
Summary: Each Boosh member goes missing

Part 1

It was a tippical normal night the boosh boys were all sleepin they had just got back off tour and they had been partyin late into the night, Noel was waken by a noise and got up to go find out what it was he searched round for a while but was undale to find anything. Noel noticed the tour bus had been pulled up and the driver was missing he went to wake Mike

Noel: Mike Mike wake up wake up Mike: whats wrong why have u woke me up? Noel: you have to come check this out i hurd a noise and when i looked around i noticed the driver had gone and we have pulled up in the middle of no ware. Mike: Okay i will come with you and find out whats goin on.

Noel and Mike went to search for the driver they had been searchin for an hour and they couldnt find the driver Noel turned round and Mike had gone, he was no where to be seen Noel shouted his name but no answer.

Noel was left all alone in the middle of no where he stood still he had tears runnin down his face untill he felt a hand on his shoulder Noel turned round to see it was

To Be Continued.....

LOL!
you juicy dangler you!

just writein the second half now

LOL i'm writing part 3.
i've had writers block of late now my heads full o' ideas!

ive got lots of random ideas

i love the fanfic thtat you wrote its amazin

KingOfCrimp wrote:

This Is An Outrage wrote:

i love the fanfic thtat you wrote its amazin

<3 Aw thanks! [If this is aimed at me, haha! Natawie's fanfics are epic creations!]

I love yours!
I especially love the title!

it was aimed at both of yours they are amazin

been ages since i read a gud Booshie fanfic

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel, Julian, Mike, Dave, Rich + Others.
Rating: 15 + Violence + Death
Summary: Each Boosh member goes missing

Part 2

Noel turned round only to find Julian stood there, Julian: what are you doin out here? whats goin on? Noel: i hurd i noise and i woke Mike to come help find the driver, and now i cnt find Mike. Julian: well he cnt of gone far lets go back to the bus wake the others and we will start lookin for him. as the started to walk about too the bus Noel looked down and saw a bit a fabric on the floor it was of Mikes top. Noel: JULIAN look what ive found its a bit of Mikes top i will never forgive myself if anythin happens too him. Julian: carm down carm down nothin will of happend too him come on lets go wake the others. Julian couldnt help but think the worst but he kept his thoughts to him self has he didnt wanna worry Noel.

they arrived back at the bus and Julian woke Dave and Rich up Noel went to get cleaned up Dave: whats goin on why have we stopped? Rich: come on whats goin on? Noel: everyone sit down i will explain i got woke up by a noise and i went too see what it was as i was lookin round the bus i noticed the driver had gone and we were in the middle of no where. So i woke Mike up and he come with me to find out what was goin on.

Rich: why aint mike with you now? Julian: hes gone missin we come back here to get you to help look for him what we will do is split up in pairs Rich you go with Noel and i will go with Dave we will meet back here in 2 hours, they all set off in search of Mike, an hour in to the search Rich spotted this old wooden hut as he went in he saw Mike in the corner of the room tied up and he had a cut on his head. Rich: N...OE....L but before he could get the words out someone took hold of him and he found himself tied up next to Mike. Noel: Rich where are you? Oh now where as he gone

Julian: hey Dave any sing of Mike? Dave: no not yet its hard to see anythin with all this fog about try to stay close we dnt wanna get split up, Julian: DAVE ive just seen somethin move in the trees am gonna go see what it is Dave: becareful i dnt want anythin happening to you. Julian: oh dnt worry i will be f..ine...eeeeeee Dave turned round and Julian had gone oh fuck where are you Julian answer me JULIAN!

Noel: Rich where the hell are you this aint funny you better show your face, he saw somethin movein in the trees he out his hand out thinkin it was Rich but when they turned round it was Dave, Noel: Dave what are you doin wheres Julian?? i dnt know hes gone Dave: has Rich gone too? Noel: yeah hes gone

Dave: Come on we better go find them

To be continued.....

BOOSH THIEF!


its me

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel, Julian, Mike, Dave, Rich + Others.
Rating: 15 + Violence + Death
Summary: Each Boosh member goes missing

Part 3

as they search for the missing members of the group they found them selfs back at the bus and thought it was best to get some rest as there was nothin they could do in the dark, the next day Noel woke up and quickly got him self ready for another days search. Dave wake up wale up. comee on we have to get back out there and search for Miek, Rich and Julian.

after searchin for some time the fog was gettin thicker and they lost each other..... Dave came across the wooden hut he looked in side and he saw Mike, Julian and Rich all tied up in the corner all 3 were bleeding badley and he knew if he didnt get in there soon he could lose them. he slowly opend the door and he saw a panic look on there faces they were tryin to tell him no to enter the room but didnt take any notice and before he could say anythin someone grabbed in and tied him up.

Noel: Dave where are u? oh dnt tell me ive lost him aswell now, at the point Noel was no longer scared he just wanted to find his friends and get away from this strange place there were in, he carried on searchin for them he had his doctors bag with him and pulled out a bottle of coke he found his ipod at the bottom of his bag and decided to put Gary Numan - Cars on.

he carried on his search for the others he came across the wooden hut he look in throw the window to see if they were there he saw each one of them tied up and bleedin heavely he had to move fast, as he was about to open the door he saw this tall figure inside the hut, it was the bus driver he was stood over each one of them with a knife.

Noel had to think fast he remembered he had some goth jucie made witht he tears of robert smith he ran into the hut and sprayed the driver from head to toe, there was no way he could move, Noel quickly untied them and asked if they were all able to walk? Dave yea i can walk Mike: am able to walk Noel: Rich, Julian are you both able to walk? Rich: yeah i will be able to Julian was the only one who didnt answer. they all helped Noel get Julian on his feet and carried him back to the bus.

Noel: come one wee need to keep movie the spray only lasts a few hours, Look i can see the bus we are nearly there as Noel was about to open the doors the driver come out of no where with a knife and tried to attack Noel. he tried to reach for his spray but it was knocked out of his hand. Noel was in trouble there was no one to help him the others were too weak to help.

All of a sudden there was a figure in the distance it was comin towards them the figure become clear is was Dee she had followed Noel trail of haribo and was able to find them, Dee: HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOIN? get your hands of my boyfriend and my friends. Bus Driver: get lost this is no place for a women. Dee gradded a knife from her bag and stabbed the driver in the head. Blood went everywhere Dee: Noel are you okay? Noel: yeah am okay we need to check on the others and get them on the bus.

Noel and Dee helped the others on to the bus and they drove away as fast as they could goin to the nearist hospital too get help for Julian, as the drove away the bus driver was still alive he slowly dragged himself over to a tree as he sat up he saw another bus pull up he pulled the knife from his head and waited.....

The end

fucking hell dee.



that was short.

GO DEE!
ahah
(Y)

lool goth juice (;
xx

gonna do another one when i get back from work its gonna be a lot longer this time
that one was just to start me off hehe

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel + Dee + Julian + Sue
Rating: 15 +
Summary: Just Another Normal Day In Camden.....Well Maybe Not For Some

Part 1

For the rest of the Boosh cast it was just another day gettin ready to go on set and film for the next series but for Noel it was not so simple he was still havin relationship problems with Dee, Dee: am gettin sick and tired of picking up the paper and readin about my boyfriend with that stupied slag pixie geldof what do you expect me to think you havent teken me out in ages all you seem to do is go on set come back get changed and fuck off out. Noel: we are just friends and you know its not like that i dnt just come in get changed and go back out again. Dee i love you we have been together 8 years i wouldnt do anythin to distroy that. Dee: ive had about enuff of all this am going round to Sues you do what ever you want you seem to be doin a pretty good job at that anyway. Noel: FINE I WILL

after Dee had stormed out of the house Noel sat down and thought about what had just happend he loves Dee he needed to think about how he could prove he loved her and that she can trust him, Noel picke up his fone and went to speed dial number 1 Julian. Noel: Julian will know what to do he always helps me when me and Dee have a fight. The fone rings and Julian answers the fone. Julian: Hey Noel whats up? why arent you on set? Noel: Am bit gonna be there tell paul i will be in tomorrow anyway the reason why i foneed its me and Dee things are gettin worse and i dont know what to do Julian: if this is about you comin in late last night just buy her some chocolates and flowers. Noel: no its way past that now.

Julian: Dont tell me you have been out with her havent you, (he couldnt even bring him self to say her name) Noel: if you mean pixie then yes i have but we are only friends, i am way older than her and i wouldnt ever cheet on Dee i love her so much she will read all the stupied storys the press print in the newpapers. Julian: well if you wanna put things right again you know what you have too do. Noel: thanks Julian you always know what to say and do, am gonna go sort out this mess will see you on set tomorrow. as Noel put down the fone he knew what had to be done.

To Be Continued.....

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel + Dee + Julian + Sue
Rating: 15 +
Summary: Just Another Normal Day In Camden.....Well Maybe Not For Some

Part 2


The more Noel thought about it he had to make that call to save his relationship with Dee he picked up his fone and made the call to Pixe, the fone rang for ages but no answer when he was about to put the fone down he hurd this voice it was Dee she had some back. Noel: Dee you came back. Dee: yeah i thought i should come back i dont wanna leave things the way they are
you know i love you Noel: yeah i know Dee ive been thinking i'm goin too cut off Pixie from my life am not gonna let someone ive only known a few weeks get in the way of are 8 year relationship i love you.

Noel tried to fone pixie again and this time she answered, Hello Noel: Heyy pixie listen ive got somethin to tell you Pixie: what do you wanna tell me? Noel: i have to stop seein you i have to save my relationship with Dee i love her so much and i cant let anythin come in the way of that. Pixie? WHAT? i cant believe i am hearin this i dont see why we should stop seein each other we are just friends. Noel: yeah we are but you want to be more than that and i am not gonna cheet on Dee you are way younger than me am sorry..... Noel put down the fone he new is was the right thing to do if he wanted to stay with Dee.

Dee: thank you for doin that for me Noel.....you know its for the best if you have any chance for gettin past this she has to be out of are lifes, Noel: yeah i know it wasnt easy but i did it i did it for you becasuse i love you, am gonna go out for a bit i will be back soon. Dee: where are you goin? Noel: i dont know i aint made my mind up yet i will see you when i get in.

things between Noel and Dee were not good later that night Dee got a fone call from Pixie Dee: hello who is this? Pixie: its Pixie HOW DARE YOU SAY NOEL CANT SEE ME! hes my friend well we might become more than that in a min Dee: WHAT THE FUCK! how dare you call me up and give me shit down the fone Noel is my boyfriend and thats the way its gonna stay.....Pixie: Not for long he aint.....The fone went dead Dee didnt know what to do or think she tried to fone Noel but he ddnt answer his fone she left lots of voicemails and txt for him to get home.....Dee sat there with tears running down her face she didnt know what too think untill there was a knock at the door

To Be Continued

poor dee!

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel + Dee + Julian + Sue
Rating: 15 +
Summary: Just Another Normal Day In Camden.....Well Maybe Not For Some

Part 3


Dee opend the door is was Julian, Julian: hey Dee whats up? you and Noel havent been fightin again have you? Dee: yeah he just stormed out of the house i dnt know where hes gone and then Pixie foned me up and said that her and Noel was gonna be more than just friends. Julian: its okay Dee i will fone Noel now and find out where he is Julian picke dup his fone and dialed Noels number the fone rang for ages he was just about to give up when he answred the fone, Julian: Heyy Noel where are you? Noel: am in the hawley is Dee okay? Julian: no not really shes really upset she doesnt know what to do or think she's just got a fone call from Pixie sayin that how dare she say that your not allowed to see her. And she said that you and her are gonna become more than friends. Noel: WHAT? thats total rubbish i am in the hawley have been all night you can come down if you want. Julian: okay i think i better and we can sort all this out see you in 5 mins.

Julian put the fone down and told Dee what was goin on the news made Dee feel a bit better but she still didnt know what to think, she did trust Noel but it was Pixie she didnt like and she knew what she is like when Noel is around, Dee: Hey julian wait am gonna come with you its the only way i can feel better. Julian: Okay thats fine come on then we better get goin, Dee: well here we are out side the hawley i think you better go in first i will follow. Julian: Okay come on lets go in as they pulled the doors back Noel was sat slumped down on a bar stool talkin to Sue. both Julian and Dee walked over to where they was sat and Dee put her hand on Noels shoulder.

Noel turned round and saw a tearful Dee he knew he had to sort this mess out he just had to think of a way before Dee could speak she got a txt, it was from Pixie sayin that she was gonna go to the press and tell them everythin her and Noel had been up too. Dee broke down in the middle of the pub Sue rushed over to her and took her in the toilets. Sue: whats wrong Dee? Dee showed her the fone Sue couldnt believe what she was reading. Sue: THE FUCKIN BITCH! there is no way she is gettin away with this. am not gonna let her distroy you and Noel.

Momnets later Noel rushed into the toilets and put his arms around Dee and said Dee i love you so much you are my world and i dont want anythin to come between us, i would never ever cheet on you we have been together 8 years and i am not gonna mess it all up over Pixie Geldof.

Noel had thought about how much he loved Dee and how much he wanted to be with her so he went down on one knee and asked Dee will she marry him, Dee had been waiting a long time for Noel to ask her the question, Noel: Dee will you Marry me? Dee: YESS of course i will i love you so much. the both shared a long kiss and a hug, Dee pulled away from the hug and she told Noel what Pixie had said to her. Noel was outraged by what she had said, Noel: dont worry babe i will sort this out, Dee: no wait i would like to help you with this aswell. they both agreed they would fight Pixie all the way.

To Be Continued.....

woop!
big up the hawley! haha

lol i hope they beat pixie! woo lol

xxx

Lol

dont worry i can say that Pixie is gonna get whats comin too her

Title: And The There Was One
Characters: Noel + Dee + Julian + Sue
Rating: 15 +
Summary: Just Another Normal Day In Camden.....Well Maybe Not For Some

Part 4

Noel, Dee, Julian and Sue all came up with a plan to stop Pixie from goin to the papers Noel: so the plan is for me to tell Pixie me and you have split up and arrange for her too meet me in a hotel. i will take the tape recoder with me so we have what she says on tape. Dee: we will hide in the next room and listen to whats goin on Sue make sure you bring the camera and laptop with you ive got a plan. Sue: what are you up 2? Dee: you will have to wait and see

later that day Noel foned Pixie up and told her that he wanted to meet up with her and said he had broken up with Dee this news made Pixie very happy, and insisted that they both meet up in a posh hotel they both agreed to meet at the hotel around 2:00 Noel said he would book the rooms so he could make sure the others could listen in on what was happening and so they could get to the room quick.

Noel got to the hotel before Pixie so he could get everythin set him Dee let Noel in on her little plan and told him what he needed to do, he agreed and just before they Dee left she gave Noel one last kiss and said I Love You Noel Fielding, Noel: I Love You Too Dee Plume or should i say soon to be Mrs Dee Fielding they both laughed and gave each other a hug Noel: Pixies just sent me a txt to say shes about 10 mins away from the hotel Dee: right i better go i will be listenin to what shes sayin Noel: Dee what do i do if she says she loves me? Dee: well you better say it back to her i wont listen to that bit we need this plan to work so we need to make it look convinceing.

Dee left the room and went to join Julian and Sue in the room next door there was a knock at the door it was Pixie Noel walked over to the door and opended it, Pixie Heyy sexy how are you? you are lookin very hot today Noel: lol thanks your lookin very nice your self. Pixie: so whats happend to you and Dee then? Noel: well be have been fightin a lot the past few weeks and it just wasnt workin out we tried to make it work but i have to leave her i wanted to be with you, Pixie well you have made the right choice. Noel: so do tell me what all this business was with you and Dee she said somethin about you goin to the papers.
Pixie: Ohhh yeah i remember now i wanted to get back at her and i said i would go to the papers and tell them everythin that happend. well it wouldnt all be true but they dont need to know that,

Noel:Heyy i know ive got a gud idea lets move this over to the bed ive got a few ideas i would like to try out Pixie: yeah okay i would love too, Pixie had been waitin for this moment ever since she met Noel and she couldnt believe it was gonna happend Noel: right let me put this blind fold around you and ive got some handcuffs i would like to use. Noel handcuffed Pixie to the bed she couldnt see or move. she could olny here Noels voice. Noel: right you just lay there while i just get somethin out of my bag, soon as Noel said that Dee came into the room makein sure Pixie couldnt here her come in. he had her camera ready Dee told Noel to go over to her and say he was gonna undress her. Noel: right Pixie am just gonna undress you he took her top and pants off just leavein her bra and underwear on. Dee: right thats perfect am just gonna go get someone. Dee had arranged for a look a like of Peaches to lie next to Pixie and Dee would take the pics. Dee: right Noel take the blind fold off and get the look a like of Peaches to lie next to her. Noel took off the blind fold and Dee took the pictures. Pixie cuoldnt believe what was goin on
Pixie: Noel how could you do this Noel: thats easy i dont wanna be your friend anymore no after what you have done to my future wife yeah thats right we are gettin married. Pixie was screamin to be set free Dee stood over her and said

Your not the only one who can blackmail people.

To Be Continued.....

aaaahahahhahaha!!!
:p

hehe
the perfect pay back