Barratt's Not-Boosh Fics

Mcpinkblob feel free to delete this, but I figured if we could have not!boosh art I could do not!boosh fanfic right?

sorry if i'm rule breaking but as Jade elegantly pointed out "WE'RE THE MC'S!"




Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Swearing.




One. Ant Art.


Her name was Emily Regan, but everyone called her Ronnie even the lecturers at the art school she was currently at. Hornsey College of Art, Ronnie was quiet, and kept herself to herself, she was always drawing something anyway she could, and it was rare she was ever seen without a pencil in her hand.
Ronnie only started looking up from her sketch-pad when one of the new first years ended up sitting near her one lunch-time. He had a naturally attractive face and hair down to his waist. She watched him intently for a week before plucking up the courage to talk to him.
She didn't open with anything remotely charming, or even a hello, she simply approached him, dumped her messenger bag down and sat next to him before asking "Who are you, then?"
He looked at her gone out, Ronnie wondered if this was because she'd opened with the worst line ever or if it was because he was foreign or had never heard another person speak before. "Are you gonna punch me?" He asked, his eyebrows lowering in a frown and assessing quickly that she was older, taller, more of a cockney and looked a lot tougher than himself.
Ronnie smiled toothily, showing off the braces that she despised so much, she considered starting a war about it. "I just wanna know your name, kid."
"Stuart." He replied, but he didn't sound completely sure that was his name. "Stuart Goddard."
"Pleased to know ya Stuart Goddard. I'm gonna call you God, okay?"
Stuart nodded, completely unsure of what was happening. "Yeah." He nodded, taking his eyes away from hers and his voice going high-pitched for a moment.
"Ronnie," she held her hand out for him to shake, and with some hesitation he did.
"Ronnie, as in?"
"It aint my name," She told him, he nodded but he didn't want to draw attention to the nod incase she did hurt him. "I dont even know where it came from, tell the truth. My real name's Emily Regan. But thats fuckin' 'orrible. Even my mum wishes she'd named me something else."
Stuart opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it.
"Why are you scared of me?" Ronnie asked, cocking her head at him.
He shook his head. "I'm not scared of you."
"Then what were you going to say."
He shrugged and looked back up into her green eyes, noticing they had a hint of grey in them, which he thought was quite spectacular. "I was going to say, I didnt think it was horrible."

Ronnie saw a lot more of Stuart over the coming weeks, eventually he wormed his way into her sketch-pad, drawing him when he wasn't looking or when she was alone and drawing him from memory. She thought he looked best in charchol or chalks, the more she drew him the more she was attracted to him. She'd never seen any of his works, but she was confident they'd be something soon be put on a wall of a gallery.

Ronnie looked up momentarily, hearing some commotion from some of the 3D people, debating on clay, when she saw Stuart walking towards her. She quickly shut her sketch-pad and discarded the black chalk, wiping her fingers on her denim dungarees which were already covered in paint and pencil smudges.
He smiled at her and sat opposite her. "Hiya." He chimed. "You alright Ron'? You look a bit pasty."
"You scared the shit outta me!" She giggled, realising how panicked she had got.
Stuart wasn't laughing. "Why?"
Ronnie picked up on his genuine concern and tried to put his mind at rest. "It's fine, God. I wasn't expecting to see you thats all.." She sighed and decided to be honest. "I was drawing you.. I didn't want you to freak out and think I was weird but I've got a photographic memory and you've got a good face to draw.. You wanna see?"
"Not if you dont want me to."
"I was asking if you wanted to.." She showed him anyway, he was instantly blown away by her pictures as he flicked through the sketch-pad.
"You did these?" He asked, because it was all he could muster.
Ronnie nodded. "Told you I had a photographic memory.."
"D'you wanna come back to mine?" He asked, stammering slightly. He'd waited 2 weeks to ask her but never plucked up enough courage. "I've got a rented room in a place on-"
"Okay."

Stuart soon left Hornsey, and the next time Ronnie would see that face, Stuart Leslie Goddard would be gone.

Awwwh.
Immah call you God.
:')
Well there's an ego boost. LOL

He's all cute and nervous. (L)

Moar soon plz? The last line's got me all curious.

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Swearing.




Two. Apparently, There's A Leak.


*1980*

Adam stepped out of his home, blinded by the light of the sun. Britain hadn't seen sun for quite some time, but that's Britain.
He had woken up feeling somewhat refreshed, and decided because of the sun he'd go for a walk. Put on his walkman listen to Iggy Pop and let his feet do the thinking.
15 minutes into his journey, he noticed what he could only assume being father and daughter, inside a shop which was mid refurbishment and looking like they were having some plumbing issues.
"What the fuck is going on?!" The man shrieked in a voice Adam heard even through his headphones.
As the track changed, he heard the girl reply "Well apparently, there's a leak!" In a sarcastic way that made Adam smile slightly. She was really quite handsome, a face like a portrait and heavy metallic make up. She wore one red and one black Converse on her feet and brightly coloured and heavily patterned leggings. She wore an insanly oversized t-shirt which hung off her shoulders. Her hair was platinum blonde with hints of blue and orange and backcombed.
She looked up at the man walking by her wearing leather trousers and christmas ribbon in his hair. As their eyes met, he looked away.
"Stuart?" She shrieked.
Of course he had his headphones in so he didn't hear her.
"Stuart?!" She ran after him and he stopped and pulled his headphones out. "Stuart!"
He turned and looked at her. "Not anymore, no.. Sorry."
"You don't recognised me do you?" His lack of response told her 'no'. "God.. It's Ronnie."
"Ron'! Fucking hell. Sorry! How are you?"
"I'm good.. I'm good. You look incredible, what's going on there? Fuck me. Can I walk with you?"
"Course you can!"
Ronnie started walking with him. "Going anywhere nice, dressed like that?"
He shook his head. "Just walking. You're opening a shop?"
"God knows when.." Ronnie nodded. "My dad's shop. Selling artwork. When I called you Stuart and you said 'Not anymore' what did you mean?"
"I dont go by that name anymore. I killed Stuart Leslie Goddard in 1976. I took a load of pills and ended up in hospital. Changed my name to Adam Ant."
"Fucking hell, God. What happened?"
He shrugged. "Pressure.. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I'm trying to keep myself busy."
"Oh yeah? What do you do now?"
"I'm a singer in a band.. Adam and the Ants. We just got back from touring the UK."
"Oh yeah?" Ronnie asked, giggling slightly. "Maybe I should sell some of them portraits I did in college if you got your arse on the fame ladder!"
Adam smiled and looked down at his boots, slightly bashful.
"I haven't seen you since you took me to your room that afternoon.. You disappeared without a word."
Adam looked at her face, full of sadness. "Sorry." He said, simply.
"I was gonna kiss you that day.. But I didnt. Knew it'd be a mistake. Truth be told, I wanted to bang your brains out, but I didnt."
Adam's porcelain-like cheeks reddened. "I had no idea you felt that way.."
"I guess we were too good friends for me to dare to do anything.. I kinda wish you hadn't walked this way because you're so much prettier than you were back then."
He smiled at her. "I'm the dandy highwayman."
"Are you?" She laughed, wondering what the hell that meant.
"Yeah." He nodded, as if it was normal. "I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention. I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention."
"I'm gonna take a guess thats one of yours."
"Staaaaand and deliveeeer." He sang. "We've got one last gig in London tomorrow night, for the tour that is.. I can get you a backstage ticket if you fancy it?"
"Serious?"
"Yeah.. I'll introduce you to me men afterwards."
Ronnie almost welled up, she had a couple of friends in bands (not famous ones though) and no one had ever invited her backstage. "That'd be great.. Aw, thank you!"

*

Ronnie had watched Adam prance around on stage, in an outfit which was most definately a 'dandy highwayman', he had the jacket and a frilly white shirt, leather trousers and knee length boots, a red feather on his shoulder and more scarves attatched to him than snow day. What stood out most to her was the christmas ribbons in his hair, the perfectly applied eye make up and a white stripe across his nose. The rest of the band were rather pirate looking themselves, which was when she realised Adam and the Ants were about the look as well as the music.
Once they had finished a rather fine rendition of a song Ronnie later learnt was called 'Antmusic', they came backstage and Adam greeted her with a rather sweaty kiss on the forehead.
"Oh, 'ey up," One of the Ants sneered. "he's bagged another one!"
Adam turned to face the Ant in question and snarled at him, jokingly. "Shut up, Marco!" He turned on his heel to look back at Ronnie and introduced the Ants, pointing at them as he went. "Right, here we have.. Kevin Mooney on the bass, Terry Lee Miall and Chris Hughes aka. Merrick, playing the shit out of the drums, and this fine gent is guitar player and newly appointed co-lyricist, Marco Pirroni." He kissed him on the cheek and then slapped him across the back of his head.
Marco wiped his cheek clean of sweat and spit. "Alright, dont get goofy."
"And of course," Adam bowed. "yours truly. Ants this is a friend of mine from college who I ran into yesterday and her name is Emily but dont call her that. You've to call her Ronnie."
There came grunts of 'Hi Ronnie' from the band, Terry Lee lifted a hand in a wave.
Ronnie was just amazed he'd remembered her real name. "Hi.. Hello." She stammered nervously.
Adam took her hand. "And now we're gonna go." He nodded pulling her away from the band, watching them giggle at her apparant lack of knowledge towards Adam's reputation. Marco even shook his head and muttered something to himself.
Adam never slept with anyone who didn't want him to, but Ronnie had earlier told him that she had wanted to.
"Where are we going?" Ronnie asked, finding her feet and snatching her hand out of his.
He stopped and looked at her, but his sudden stop made her bump into him. "I need to get washed and changed.."
"Right," She was still unsure. "and you need me for that?"
"If you want." He replied slyly, then pulled a face that said 'I'm kidding' "I thought you wanted a catch up."
"Well I did- I do but-"
He grabbed her hand again. "Well come on then!"
Ronnie laughed and followed him regardless. "One day, Adam.. I'll understand you."
He stopped again and turned around.
"Fucking hell!!" Ronnie hit his shoulder after bumping into him for the second time.
"You called me Adam." He pointed out.
Ronnie nodded. "That is your name isn't it? Or have you changed it again?"
He shook his head. "Adam Ant."

Unexpected!meetup!
Bless Adam. He can be honest with her.

Hahah Marco. (L)

Yayyy! Moar soon plz?

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Swearing.




Three. What Do You Do?


"Mango juice?" Ronnie asked, eyeing up the bottles on his dressing table. "Where's all the vodka and wine and shit? You're not a real rockstar."
Adam smiled at her as he wiped his face clean of make up. "I dont drink."
"You dont drink?!" Ronnie repeated, her voice going higher than it usually does.
"Or smoke."
"Adam.. You're not rockin'! Popstars dont drink mango juice and if they do they smoke 'til their lungs are blackened and-" She opened his fridge just to check incase the beer was being chilled, but instead she found a glass bottle of milk. "-Milk... Well I think now you're taking rock 'n' roll overboard Adam! You don't drink, you dont smoke... What do you do?"
"I don't do anything." He shrugged.
Ronnie looked at him disappointed as she sat down on the velvet sofa. "Goody two shoes." She mumbled.
"Were you really gonna kiss me?" He asked, ignoring her goody two shoes comment entirely.
"Milk?" She said. "I ask you! It's not even a real drink!"
"No, its food."
"No it isnt. Don't be stupid!"
"Why do you think babies drink it? Do you think you spend the first year of your life just not hungry?"
"Alright, clever Trevor!"
Adam took off his jacket and shirt, and was now stood in leather trousers with no shirt, which Ronnie was finding quite difficult not to stare at.
"Adam Ant owns the facts of milk," Adam smiled, turning to face her again. "Now tell me honestly.. Were you really gonna kiss me?"
"If you mad a cow laugh would milk come out of its nose?" Ronnie asked.
Adam knealt infront of her, as if he was going to propose and put his hand over her mouth. "Ron," he said softly, making her heart beat faster. "tell me honestly."
Ronnie let out a small accidental moan in her throat.
"I'll make you do more than that if you tell me honestly."
"Do I have to?" She asked, her voice muffled in his hand.
"Mm hmm." He hummed, nodding.
Ronnie sighed, as he took his hand away. "Yeah I was.. But it's entirely your fault, Goddard!" Her eyes were darting around the room. "If you weren't so fucking good looking I wouldn't have even considered kissing you and now you've made it worse en'cha, 'cause now you're not just good looking you're sexy and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about tearing those dandy clothes off you and... knock them out until you're bone dry!"
Adam's face showed no emotion apart from raised eyebrows.
"And it's your fault entirely!" Ronnie pointed out again. "Not mine! Yours!"
As soon as she'd stopped talking he pecked her on the lips, it was a shy peck that he'd clearly worked up a lot of courage to do. Before he could say anything else Ronnie grabbed both of his cheeks and kissed him passionately, much to her delight he was kissing back.
When their lips seperated, Adam was looking at her as if he was looking for something.
"I knew you'd kiss good.." She whispered.
He shook his head. "Dont do it, Ronnie. You don't need someone like me tying you down. I aint well, I'm gonna be travelling a lot and making records..." He couldn't think of another reason. "I aint well. Did I say that already?"
"My brother was bi-polar. I can handle it."
"You didn't tell me you had a brother.."
"He was severely depressed.. Older than me. I was 7 years old and he shot himself in the face with my dad's pistol. He was 16 years old."
Adam's shoulders dropped. "Talk about a pick-me-up."
"No I aint sayin you're gonna end up like him, you might not be as bad as he was.. I'm just sayin. If it comes to it, which I hope it dont... I can handle it. You disappeared outta my life once, God. I aint letting that happen again."
"But I'm not well!" He said again, resting himself on her knees. "I've been there.. I dont wanna go there again and what's more I dont wanna put you through that."
"When I said I could handle it.. I meant it!"

*

Ronnie tapped Marco on the shoulder. "Marco?" She asked, almost hoping she'd got it right.
He turned around and half smiled. "Yeah?"
"You and Adam and pretty close right?"
He shrugged. "Kinda, but that's what you get in a band.. Why?"
"Where does he live?"

Really Ronnie, there's no need to stalk him love. :')
Awwwh Adam. Bless him.
He doesn't want to put her through that.

OWNS MILK
*dies*

This story makes me happy.

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Swearing. Ref. to Sex.




Four. Puss 'n Boots.


Ronnie heard Adam come back home, talking to someone.
"Shit." She mumbled, hoping he was talking to himself.
But then she heard a second voice, Marco Pirroni.
"I'll be back in a sec. Put the kettle on if you want." Adam said, his voice getting closer as he walked up the stairs.

When he walked into the bedroom, bottle of milk in hand, he found Ronnie sat on his bed.
She was wearing black latex boots with 6 inch heels that came up to her head, fishnet stockings and suspenders attatched to a black Victorian style corset- two of the clips at the front were undone just by accident as they wouldn't fasten up over her rather well developed chest- heavy black eye make up and cat ears on her heavily backcombed head.
The shock made him loose grip on the bottle, so it fell from his hand and smashed. "Oh me-ow." was all he could muster.
Ronnie smiled and licked the corner of her mouth.
"Adam?" Marco called.
Ronnie raised her eyebrows.
"I'll get rid of him." Adam said quickly, turning around and closing the door. He looked down at the crotch of his trousers. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" He whisper shouted at it, knowing full well it wouldn't work, but he couldn't get her out of his head and he didn't want to usher Marco out of his house with a thumping hard on.
He ran downstairs quickly, almost falling over. "Marco!" He called.
"What's wrong? Steady on, you'll break your neck!"
"You're going to have to leave!" He said, in the nicest way possible. "You're going to have to leave now!
"Why? What's happened?"
"I'll phone you in a couple of hours, I promise. We can meet up tomorrow! Tomorrow you're having a lazy day, day after then. I promise.. I promise!."
Marco wasn't conviced all was okay, but he nodded and left Adam's house anyway.
Adam darted back up the stairs and into his bedroom faster than anyone could say "Antpeople are the warriors".
Ronnie knealt up on the bed. "I wont take no for an answer, Adam."
He jumped on the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close until their bodies were touching. He stared into her sea green eyes, still with a hint of grey and smiled. "I aint gonna say no." It was at this point she found out he was chewing gum because he turned his head and spat it out, missing the bin by inches but before Ronnie had a chance to say anything, his lips were on hers.
She pulled back and said "You're not gonna leave that are you?"
He pulled her in again sharply, making her hips clash with his. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make magic happen."
"Egotistical pri-"
He put one hand on her mouth and smiled cheekily. "You're the one who calls me 'God'." He took his hand away and flicked her arm up, running his hand down the soft skin as he pushed her gently onto her back.

*

"Are you a scorpio?" Ronnie asked, turning over onto her side to look at Adam who was staring up at the cieling with sweat on his forehead and a face of no emotion at all. She knew he was deep in thought.
"Am I?" He shrugged, looking at her momentarily before looking back up at the white cieling.
Ronnie smiled. "When's your birthday?"
"3rd of November.." He said it almost as if it was a question.
"You're a scorpio." She nodded. "Which makes us compatible. Scorpio has a difficult time showing their emotions, but deep down they are very passionate. They can get along with Pisces for this reason, but while Pisces is likely to open up to the Scorpio, the opposite rarely holds true."
"Your birthdays on February 23rd." He told her as if she didn't know. "I remember it was your birthday at college.. I gave you my fruit biscuits.."
Ronnie giggled. "And yer milk."
He screwed his face up. "Ronnie." He said, as though he was going to cry, and looked at her. "I'm sorry... I didn't use a condom, I normally would but I got so caught up in.. You looking the way you did I forgot. I'm sorry!"
Ronnie frowned and stroked his face. "Hey.. It's okay, I'm on the pill anyway."
"Okay." He nodded and looked back up at the ceiling.
"Adam, what's wrong?"
He sighed and smiled. "Nothing." He told her. "Absolutely nothing."
She turned over and scooped up his shirt- a plain black tee which he had ripped at the neck and sleeves to make into a vest- and put it on before straddling his hips and linking her fingers in his. "What are you thinking about?"
"You." He replied without a moments hesitation, running his free hand up her back. "I think you're quite possibly the most wonderful woman I've ever met," He reached over to his bedside cabinate and put on a pair of clear framed glasses. "and I've met Amanda Donahoe."
Ronnie smiled and took his glasses off again, putting them on her own face, everything was instantly blurry. "Woah you're blind!!" She shrieked taking them off because they were hurting her eyes and putting them back on him. "Though you do look adorable in them. And you know what I know?"
"What do you know?"
"I know the four rules of loving Adam."
He smiled. "Which are?"
"One. Love Adam. Two. Love Adam some more.. Three. Love Adam as much as you can. Four. Marry Adam."
"You're gonna marry Adam?"
Ronnie smiled. "One day.. Maybe.. In my brain."
"Can't wait.. I'll buy a hat!!" He said with epic excitement.
Ronnie laughed. "Stop making me fall in love with you." She smiled, rubbing her nose on his.
"I'll stop if you stop."
"No."
"Then nope."

"I'll buy a hat"
(L)

Oh my god they're so adorable.
Bless.

Puss in boots.
Literally.

YAY

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+
Warnings: Swearing. Ref. to Sex.




Five. Lunch At Tiffany's (We Weren't Up In Time For Breakfast)


*4 Months Later*

Adam was watching Ronnie in awe as she struggled with a baguette, she was finding biting it quite hard and when she had managed it was more than she could chew so she struggled to get it all in her mouth.
Eventually she looked up at Adam staring at her with raised eyebrows and started laughing. "Sorry." She said through a mouthful of bread putting her hand over her mouth just incase.
"Are you quite alright, madam?" He asked, trying not to laugh.
"Dont make me laugh."
After a few short minutes Adam cleared his throat and said "I'd like you to meet my family."
"Wh-" Ronnie realised speaking with that amount of bread and cheese in her mouth was physically impossible, so she spat it out into the bin and looked up at him again. "What?!"
"I'd like you to meet my family... Please?" He repeated.
"Really? So soon?"
Adam's head started darting about all over the place. "I can smell soap!" He blurted out. "Why can I smell soap?"
"Because you... had a wash..? How should I know?"
He started picking up various objects that wouldn't ever smell like soap, the phone, a cushion, the control for the television, then he sniffed himself and mumbled something about it not being him.
"Adam!" Ronnie snapped.
"Where's it coming from?"
"ADAM!"
His eyes met hers again. "Yeah?"
"You trailed off."
"Sorry.. Yes? Why? No, its not too soon. I knew you for a year in college.. I've known you for 4 months. We've had.. Several encounters. Why should it be too soon?"
"You say family as if its a wife and kid.."
He shook his head. "My mum and stepdad.. My stepmum and... Les." He looked away again.
"You didn't call him dad?"
"Why should I?!" He spat back, regretting it almost instantly and sitting down on the sofa.
"Woah. Alright. Calm down. What was that for?" She went and sat next to him and held his hand.
Adam looked at her with tears in his eyes. "I'll call him dad when he starts being one."
Ronnie tutted and squeezed his hand.
"So, d'you fancy it?"

*

"Stuart!" His mother greeted, throwing her arms around him having not seen him in many months.
"Adam." He corrected, with very little enthusiasm.
"That's not the name I gave you, Stuart!"
"Fine!"
Then his stepfather walked in with a smile on his face. "Now, now. There'll be none of that!"
"Tony, Mum.. This is Ronnie. Ronnie, Tony and Betty Kathleen."
"You hungry?" Betty asked, wiping her hands on her trousers.
"No thank you. We just had lunch... We didn't get up in time for breakfast."
Ronnie blushed.
"Go. Sit. Sit." Betty ushered them into the living room. "You showed her Les yet?"
Adam shook his head as they sat down, and put his hand in Ronnie's.
"I'd be careful with that one if I were you dear," She explained to Ronnie in her Mrs Lovett accent. "He's a funny sorta bloke.. Now, how about a cuppa tea?" She wandered off into the kitchen before anyone had chance to answer.
"You sure you're alright, son?" Tony asked, sensing Adam wasn't his usual self.
"I dont know. "Adam admitted quietly.
Betty walked back into the lounge and handed Adam a glass of milk. He smiled up at her "Thank you."
"You okay, boy? You look.. Unwell."
"I'm okay." He nodded,shifting his eyes to Ronnie and back at the glass of milk.
They spent 2 hours talking and laughing, getting to know eachother. Adam barely said a word apart from the occation correction or 'yes' and 'no'.
Eventually Ronnie had had enough of his silence and sighed. "Adam, you've barely said a word since that fucking soap you could smell.. What is wrong with you?!"
He looked at her as if he was completely shocked at her. "Nothing is WRONG with me!" He pushed his head forward in rage as he said 'wrong' and then stood up.
"Stuart!" Betty said, in shock at his sudden outburst.
"I'll be right back." He said walking away and disappearing off into the bathroom.
The 3 people he left behind exchanged glances until finally Betty put her hand on Ronnie's- which was more effection than her own mother had ever shown her- and said "I think it's best if you 'ave a word with him, love.. It'll sound patronisin' coming from me."
Ronnie nodded and followed Adam's footsteps until she got to the bathroom, she knocked on the door with some hesitation. "Adamadam?" She asked, lovingly.
"He's not in," Adam replied on the other side of the door. "come back later."
"But I'm 'ere now.."
"Well the person you wish to speak to isn't here.. Come back later."
"Alright then, I will.. Will you give Adam a message for me when he comes back please, sir?"
"What?" Adam -or not Adam- grunted.
"Will you tell him.. When he comes back... Ronnie said she-" Ronnie paused and took a deep breath. "-Ronnie said she loves him. Quite a lot actually.. And she knows that there is something wrong and she wants to help...Will you tell him from me when he gets back? Please?"
Adam didn't say anything for approximately 20 seconds but eventually he opened the door slowly. "Did you mean that? Because I'm only gonna say it if you meant it.." He looked so broken, his eyes were bigger than they usually were.
"I meant every word."
He hugged her as if she'd just saved his life.
"You're alright," Ronnie told him. "I'm here."
He closed his eyes in hope he wouldn't cry, because he had the block in the back of his throat that told him he was going to, and he whispered ever so quietly in her ear. "I love you."

*

Adam curled up in bed as he listened to the phone ringing, waiting for an answer and hoping he'd get one.
And he did.
"Hello?" Marco asked, on the other end of the phone.
"Marco?" Adam asked quietly, but he knew it was him.
"Adam. Yeah, are you alright?"
Adam sighed and didn't answer.
"Adam?" Marco asked again, to get an answer.
"No.. I don't feel right Marco.."

Ronnie decided now would be a good time to call her father and tell her about the lovely day she'd had yesterday with Adam and his mother. They had weekly chats every sunday. But when she picked up the phone she heard Adam on the phone to Marco. "No.. I don't feel right Marco.." Out of curiosity, she continued to listen.

"What's wrong, mate?" Marco asked.
"Can I talk?"
"What would you like to talk about?"
"Do you think... Merrick and Terry Lee and Gary hate me?"
"No I dont. Why would you think that?"
"Because I am a bit of a chicken shit."
"Adam.. You're not a chicken shit. When was the last time you ate?"
"Yesterday, Ron' and I had lunch when we woke up because we didn't get up in time for breakfast."
"Hmhmm. And how are we feeling about ol' Ronnie these days?"
Adam sighed and rolled over onto his side. "I dunno.. I love her I s'pose. The sex is still great.. The sex is always great. It's the only think keeping me going. It's been 4 months but it still feels like puresex- to me anyway."
"Is she there now?"
"She's always here.. She only seems to disappear home when I need her most."
"So why dont you ask her to move in with you?"
Adam sighed once again. "Because she doesn't need to look after me, thats not fair on her."
"But of she wants to-"
"If she wants to she's more than welcome."
"So talk to her Adam.. Tell her you need her, I'm sure she'd understand.. I've seen you two together, I dont think I've ever seen any two people more in love."
Adam started crying and he didn't know why and he didn't try and hide it, although he wished he had.
"Oh Jesus," Marco sighed. "Adam. Breathe... Take a breath. You're alright. What's the matter, Adam? Why are you crying?"
He sniffed. "I don't know.." he admitted.
"What else do you want? You've got fame, success.. What else do you want?"
Adam was too choked up in tears to answer.
"Would you like me to come over?" Marco asked politely.
The sobbing man made a noise as if he'd just been winded and calmed down a little then croaked a reply. "No.. I'll be okay."
"Will you?"
Adam's waterworks burst again. "No!"
"Yes you will! Adam, listen to me! You've come through a lot alright, and now look at you. You're putting smiles on faces just by doing what you love so much. You've got courage and strength. You're a warrior, Adam Ant. Don't you dare give up."
"M-Marco?" He stammered, trying to stop himself from crying, feeling so incredibly embarrassed and wanting to lock himself in a dark room and hide for making a fool of himself on the phone to his best friend.
"Yes Adam?"
"Do you think you could stay on the line until I fall asleep? I know its stupid but-"
"I'll be here until you fall asleep, and then you call me again if you need me. Morning, noon or night."
"Thank you."
"Sleep well, Adam."

Awwwwh Adam.
D:
Poor sod.
Just tell her you need her!!!!

And Marco is my hero. (L)
He's so lovely bless him.

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Six. Parallels & Perpendiculars.


When Ronnie walked into the bedroom at 6:15 to see if Adam wanted some dinner, he was sound asleep and probably at the calmest he' been for the past 2 days. He'd fallen asleep with the ribbons in his hair and the phone in his hand.
She walked to him, curled up in some sort of ball, and put the phone back on the base. As she did, she noticed a screwed up piece of paper in his hand, which she took out carefully and unscrewed. Adam had been thinking.
Prince Adam.
One day, maybe.
Prince Adam Ant. No more Stuart Leslie Goddard.
"I promise one day I'll make you a Prince."
Prince Adam.
Prince Charming?

Don't you ever lower yourself, forgetting all your standards.

You're onto something now Adam.

It worried her a little bit, but it made her smile none the less, he often addressed himself, as though Stuart was coming out again, as Adam when he was getting ideas in his head about where the band could go next or what the next look could be.
There was a second bit of paper under his arm which she slid out. This one simply said
I am Adam Ant at the top and a few centimetres down from that he'd written I find peace in parallels & perpendiculars. and he'd played naughts and crosses with himself.
Her smiled broadened.
Adam rolled onto his back, and his hand fell onto where his heart was. "365 lines." He mumbled.
"Adam?" Ronnie asked, mispronouncing her A's as U's, and tutting at herself for her calling the man she loved 'Udum'.
He was fast asleep, he never usually spoke in his sleep. Adam's eyelids started fluttering.
"Adam?"
He turned over again on the opposite side from which she had found him and pulled his arm up as though he was pulling up the duvet- except he was laying on the duvet- without warning he jumped and squeezed his eyes closed more and his hands started shaking.
"Adam?" Ronnie started shaking him gently. "Adam!"
He woke up with a sharp intake of air, then saw Ronnie leering over him, that made him shriek and jump back into the duvet and almost fall out of bed.
"Hey! It's alright," She soothed, watching his chest move incredibly fast as he panicked, she handed him his glasses. "it's me.. What did you dream?"
He looked up at her. "I dreamt of old times.."
"Do you wanna talk?"
He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, but he left the door open, hoping secretly Ronnie would follow him. She did, and leant up against the door frame while watching him swap his glasses for his contact lenses. "You sure you dont wanna talk?"
He shook his head and blinked one lense in.
"No you're not sure or no you dont wanna talk?"
He put the other one in and let it adjust, before blinking several times, clearly ignoring the question.
"Adam." Ronnie said, sternly.
He sighed and took his shirt off. "No I dont wanna talk."
"Alright.. Bitch. What would you like to do?"
"I dont wanna do anything if I'm honest with you!"
Ronnie raised her eyebrows at him. "You kiss your mother with that mouth, toots?"
"I am sorry." He said in a small voice.
Ronnie went back into the bedroom.
"Ronnie!" Adam called. "Sorry!"
When she returned she had a pot of Adam's kabuki paint; red. She drew on his chest two V shapes attatched to a zig-zag with an arrow head on the end.
"It's a fire arrow." He recognised.
"Fire arrows would cause trouble for the enemy, which in turn... would add strength to the warrior." She told him, knowing he'd know already.
"But I am not a war horse." He told her, knowing full well this was a horse decoration.
She smiled slyly. "No, but I can ride you if you want."
He swallowed nervously and looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"I said I'd help.."
Adam sighed and rubbed his thumb in the paint and then drew a perfect line across Ronnie's forehead. "You are a much greater warrior than I.. Because a great warrior never admits defeat." He kissed her and put his hands on her neck. "Will you do something for me?"
Ronnie saw this a perfect moment to burst into song. "I'd do anything, for you dear anything, for you mean everything to me. I know that, I'll go anywhere for your smile, anywhere for your smile, everywhere. I'd see."
Adam sang back but a lot quieter and shyer. "Would you make me bleed?"
"Anyth- What?"
"Hurt me."
"No!"
"If you dont, I will."
"Adam!" She stroked his face. "I cant do that.. Not to you!"
"Then pretend I'm someone else! Role play.. Sort of... I'll be Hitler or Mussolini or... Margaret Thatcher! You're a punk, you must wanna kick her in the cunt!"
"Adam for fucks sake! I aint kicking you in the cunt!"
He did everything in his power to try and get her to inflict some sort of pain on him. "Yeah but... I made love to your mother.. No I haven't she's dead... Erm... I slept with your best friend!"
Ronnie folded her arms across her chest. "No you didn't. You dont even know her name!"
"Exactly, because I'm such a pig!"
"You're pathetic."
"Yeah? And you know what else? You're not the Ronnie in Cartrouble and do you know what else? I LIED when I said that dress didn't make you look fat!"
Ronnie's jaw dropped. "You better be lying Goddard!"
"I'm not. You looked huge, I just didn't wanna say anything.. And you know that thing you do when we're having sex that I love so much? Not that great.." He saw anger burning up in her face, he hated being so horrid to her but desperate times called for desperate measures. "And the other week when I said I was tired.. I wasn't. Just the thought of you lolling on my stomach like a Clanger makes my skin crawl!"
Ronnie thought he was being serious, so she punched him in the mouth and split his lip.
He smiled at her.
"You're a dick!!" She snapped at him, twisting his nipple, making him screech.
"Oh but darling, the sex is so much better when you're mad at me!"
She scoffed in disgust and walked away, that was just the anger Adam had wanted. He grabbed her wrist and spun her around, back against the wall he kissed her hard, his lip stung and he was bleeding into Ronnie's mouth and on her chin, but neither of them cared.
It was exactly the kind of sanctuary-in-sex Adam wanted, to stop him fron hurting himself.

"You enjoyed that didn't you?" Adam asked, feeling like a little bit of his depression had been lifted.
"No I didnt." Ronnie replied, with very little effort at all.
"Where did you learn to torture? You did, I can tell... I know when a girl's done that bondage stuff before Ronnie."
"Yeah I used to.. I stopped when I met you... Thought you were too quiet to even mention S&M."
"Oh, I dunno, its always the quiet ones."
Ronnie looked at him, he was looking up at the cieling, he had a massive smile on his face, it was the first time she'd seen him smile in 2 days.
"I lied." He said. "I lied when I said I lied.. I didn't sleep with your best friend and yes its you. No that dress doesnt make you look fat and I really was tired."
"Are you sure?"
"You kidding?" He looked at her, still smiling. "I'd give up everything to have you lolling on my tummy like a Clanger. Truth be told Ron', I kinda need you. Without you I'm... I'm fucked."
Ronnie frowned. "Have you got a thing for Clangers??"
"Of course I do." He admitted. "All men think about Clangers. Just once what would it be like? If I dont say it, no-one else will."

Oh Adam you silly sod.
You have a mouth. ASK.

Although it was funny him trying to think of things LOL.
Bless him.

Oh well, at least it worked.
As for the end?
COMPLETE WIN!

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Seven. Prince Charming.


Adam spent another two days rotting away in bed.
Ronnie was quite shocked when she heard up moving upstairs, soon enough he had joined her, in the living room singing I Love To Boogie by Marc Bolan, knocking out some of his classic Adam moves.
Ronnie laughed at him. "Who's put gin your milk?"
"Don't I have a right to be happy?" He asked, putting the Marc Bolan vinyl on the record player, changing the mood from I Love To Boogie to Solid Gold Easy Action.
"Well yes of course but yesterday you were about as miserable as an orphan in a toy shop. What's the change?"
"I have had an idea." He explained, in an incredibly nasal voice.
"Alright, Sparky. What's your idea?"
"I'm gonna change the look.. To go with the song. Silver leather and an 18th century coat and two stripes instead of one!"
"Calm down, you'll pop a lung.."
"I need to go and see Marco.. Erm.. Are you gonna move in here by the way?" He asked it as though it wasn't a major milestone at all.
"What?!"
"Well you're always here anyway.. And I do believe your knickers are in my washing machine now," He bowed as he pointed to the washing machine with the hand furthest away from it. "so you might as well haul all your shit over here.. Well I mean not all of it, but whatever you want. Find room, you can... shift my stuff if you want."
"Wait woah.. You're giving me free reign of your house? You're letting me touch your junk?"
"I let you touch my junk all the time." He grinned cheekily.
Ronnie closed her eyes in embarrassment. "I didn't mean your balls, Adam! I meant all your... Candles and books and trinkets and shit. I dont wanna like destroy the whole aura of your house!"
"Change is fine. I can handle you touching my candles and books and trinkets and shit." He kissed her on the forehead and nose and then licked her neck for reasons only ne was sure of. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." He said, nibbling at her ear.
"Okay, well will you go to the shop for me on the way back?" She handed him approximately £5 in change from her pocket.
"What for?"
He scoffed, with his face screwed up.
"Please Adam. 20 Marlboro lights.." She pouted at him, with big eyes hoping he'd say yes.
He put the change in his pocket. "I will buy you 10!" He argued.
"Oh you're such a gentleman." She smiled, pulling him down again by his shirt and kissing him.
"I wish you wouldn't smoke." He sighed, walking towards the door.
Ronnie smiled. "I love you!" She called, as he closed the door.
She waited a reasonable amount of time, waiting until she was sure he was down the street before squeeling in excitement. She then decided her first job as living in the Ant Farm was to run up his phonebill by calling everyone she knew, which was 3 friends and her father, to tell them she'd moved in with Adam Ant.

Ronnie's dad picked her up from Adam's house and took her to her flat to help her sort through everything she wanted and take it back.
While she was unpacking she found an Adam and the Ants vinyl she had bought soon after she started seeing Adam properly- just so she knew what he did- she swapped the Marc Bolan vinyl on the record player for Kings Of the Wild Frontier, being extra-super-careful not to drop Adam's vinyl on the floor or else he would have cried a lot and she didn't need that.

By track 7- Kings of the Wild Frontier- Ronnie still hadn't finished unpacking. She was trying to squeeze all of her things between Adam's things, but as that song came on she found the drumsticks she'd aquired at a Clash concert she went to in '77, wether they were given to her by Terry Chimes himself or just a random fan she couldn't recall, but she'd got them on the night and kept them ever since.
Of course at this point all moving in had stopped and she found herself singing along and playing the drumbeat on anything she could find, which happened to be the back of the sofa, the coffee table and the shelves. She knew what to do because she had pestered Terry Lee into teaching her how to play it as well as he did.
Adam had returned home, within the two hours as promised, to find her stood on the sofa, playing the shit out of the lamp shade. He raised his eyebrows and put his hands behind his back and watched her. She hadn't noticed him yet, but he loved how full his house looked now. "NO METHOD IN OUR MADNESS!" He shouted.
Ronnie screamed and fell off the sofa onto the floor.
Adam started laughing as he went to help her up.
"YOU ARSE!" She shouted at him. "You could've killed me!!"
"Could've, but didnt. Are you moving in or something?"
Ronnie sighed at him. "Adam!"
"I was joking.. You hungry?" He bounced into the kitchen.
"Why are you so hyper today?" Ronnie questioned, following him, watching him fill a pan with pasta and water. "And since when could you cook?"
"I cant tune a piano," he took a can of tuna from the fridge and threw it from one hand to the other. "but I can tuna fish."
Ronnie laughed and leant on the counter. "What's with you today?"
"I've had a new idea, I've written a song with Marco.. Thats where I've been, we're going to start working on a new album, I'm working on a new look.. We've got a couple of ideas, I think it's going to be one of those jigsaw projects that fit together perfectly.. Like tuna and pasta."
"What's it called?"
He looked at her as though she had just sprouted an extra head. "Tuna pasta salad.."
"The song, you oaf!"
"Oh." He giggled loudly. "Prince Charming."
"Oh yeah?" Ronnie walked to him, as he sirred the pasta and wrapped her arms around his middle. "So does that make me the princess that has to kiss the amphibian or Cinderella?"
"Cinders, I'm not a toad. You could be Snow White if you really wanted to."
Ronnie forced her hand down the front of his tight leather trousers. "I dont want seven little men, I want you."
"You're gonna have to not do that."
"Really? Why's that?"
"You'll make me burn the pasta!" He let sighed moan.
"I dont care."
"Ronnie." He started having a giggling fit. "Stop it.. No!"
Ronnie nibbled at his neck. "I'm not hungry for tuna anymore."
"Emily!"
"Yes Stuart?"
"Get thy hand from off my dick!"
"Take thy beak from out my heart, and take my form from off my door. Quoth the raven..?"
"TUNE A FISH!"
"Wrong!"

*dies*
Omg that's brilliant.
Beyond brilliant really.
:')
Tune a fish.
Bahahaaha. Bless.

Omg he's all hyper over Prince Charming *glee*

Ohh and Ronnie.
Bahahaa.
Moar soon. Plz?

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Eight. Lions and Tigers and Bears!


BANG!
Ronnie woke up sharply having heard the crash downstairs and no Adam beside her.
She scoffed as if to say 'here we go' and wandered downstairs in her plaid pyjama pants- low rise- and an old Sex Pistols shirt, which she'd stencils above it so it read 'I HATE THE SEX PISTOLS', it had always been her 'around the house' t-shirt ever since a Chelsea punk had punched her in the face for it and spat on her claiming "SID VICIOUS IS THE REASON YOU'RE FUCKIN' ALIVE!", which made no sense because he clearly wasn't then he'd spat on her once again and kicked her pretty hard in the shin before adding "You're the shittest punk I've ever seen, get out of my site before I fuckin kill you!" and in all honesty, Ronnie had carried a knife in her pocket that day, she could have ripped him from navel to neck, but she walked away and never wore it out again. When Adam had seen it, he'd told her he once threatened Sid Vicious for waking him up one day at a friends flat by punching him twice in the face, once in the stomach and once in the crotch. He claimed it didn't hurt him much, he was just fuming so he hunted him down and threatened him with a chain wrapped around his fist.
Adam had always encouraged her to wear that shirt in bed, she later found out it was because it was quite low cut- because she had ripped it that way- and tight against her breasts, but he didn't want to admit to it right away incase she thought he was perverse- which he was- and slapped him. She didn't mind, she liked it when men looked at her, she liked it more when Adam looked at her and even better when Adam got into slanging matches with scumbags in clubs for looking at her. True enough Ronnie was Adam's and Adam was Ronnie's, and they'd do anything to keep it that way. If she could, Ronnie would sucker punch every single antfan with the hots for Adam, but she knew that was impossible, he was a sex symbol and there were a lot of antfans, so she chose to ignore it.

When she got downstairs, Adam was throwing things and smashing anything smashable with a golf club. There was a mirror hanging above the fireplace, and he'd written on it in his kabuki paint 'Lions and tigers and bears'.
Ronnie folded her arms across her chest, realising it was 8 in the morning, and rather cold in the house. "What the FUCK are you doing?!" Ronnie screamed at him.
Adam swung the golf club around and himself along with it so he was facing her. "Going crazy. Have you noticed?" He asked, with ever such a charming smile on his face.
"ADAM! What the hell!? YOU'VE DESTROYED THE WHOLE HOUSE!"
"Not the whole house dear, um, just this floor."
"What is wrong with you?!" She snatched the golf club from him.
Adam jumped on the coffee table and looked at himself in the mirror. "Lions and tigers and bears! Oh,my!" he recited over and over again.
Ronnie walked around the debris of Adam's breakdown to stand at the foot of the coffee table where he was stood. "Adam, whats happened?" She asked, putting her finger into his slightly cupped hand.
Adam snatched his hand away almost instantly, making her jump and let out a shriek in fear thinking he was going to hit her.
Adam started crying, they weren't huge tears, it was just a little cry he was cleary trying so hard to hold back.
Ronnie put her hand over her mouth, realising that probably wasn't the best thing for her to do.
"Ronnie," He said, panic in his voice.
"Adam, dont. I know."
He stepped down from the coffee table and shook his head. "No, I wasn't... I'd never. Ever!"
"Adam, I know you wouldnt!"
"I promise I wasn't gonna-"
"I know! I'm sorry, you just made me jump is all."
"No." He groaned, shaking his head and covering his face with his hands.
Ronnie put her hand on his elbow. "Come on, calm down and tell me whats happened."
"Everyones left me!" He turned around and walked straight into the coffee table. "FUCKING HELL!"
"Dont get mad at the coffee table, Adam, its not the coffee table's fault and lets be honest you were doing the kicking. What'd you mean everyone's left you?"
"Gary and Terry and Merrick. They've all quit!"
"What?! Why?!"
"Musical differences or something. Said they were sick of it all being 'Adam, Adam, Adam' all the time."
"What about Marco?"
"Marco's still around! Marco's always around, he wont leave me." Adam started sobbing more, and the next line he said in an accidental highpitched voice; "Because hes so lovely!" He slumped down on the sofa and threw the broken lamp onto the floor.
Ronnie knew she shouldn't laugh, and she tried desperately not to. "D'you love him?"
He looked at her again. "Dont!" He said on an outward breath.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm making it worse aren't I?" Ronnie sat down.
He opened his mouth and looked at her, but his eyes were immediately drawn to her arm. "What's that?" He asked, poking the white dressing on her upper forearm.
"Ow." She said simply.
"Sorry." He obviously figured it was a fashion statement and didn't stop to think there might have been a wound under it.
"I wasn't gonna show you yet, I was gonna wait until everything calmed down properly.. With the move and shit."
"What is it?" He whined. "Tell meeeeee!"
"How old are you? 5?"
"If you dont show me... I'll put my head through the window."
Ronnie sighed and peeled the dressing off, revealing a tattoo underneath.
"You got a tattoo!" Adam exclaimed, looking at it in awe. He didn't seem to be crying anymore, but tears were still falling.
"Yes, Adam." Ronnie nodded. She had got a tattoo on her arm, it was exactly the same as Adam's. The heart with the dagger through it, and a banner around it which read 'pure sex' and his name above it. Adam.
"I wasn't gonna get it at first because if anything happened between us then it'd be a pretty stupid move! But I went for it.. And-" She stood up and pulled the waistband of her pyjama bottoms down showing him another tattoo on the bottom of her back, which said 'Stand and Deliver' in swirly 18th century writing, with a sleek swirl to underline.
"Did I ever tell you, you have a great arse, madam?"
Ronnie burst out laughing. "Yes actually, God, you tell me all the time." She turned around to face him again and he put his hands on her hips, his face was at perfect height to kiss her perfectly toned stomach (or prehaps something else).
"You're gonna be alright, Adam." She assured him, running her hand through his dark curly hair. "You always are.."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Marry me."
Ronnie's words got lost in her throat.
He shook his head, keeping his eyes tight shut. "Ronnie, I'm gonna be honest. I want you all to myself. I dont want you to be with anyone else, you've stood by me for the past couple of years and I really... Thank you. Marry me."
"Pardon me?" Ronnie asked, in a small voice.
"Marry me." He whispered, looking up at her with sad eyes and bit the inside of his cheek.
"Am I awake? Are you awake? Is this a dream? You just asked me to marry you and I cant quite believe it.."
"Marry me, please?"
Ronnie crouched down to his level but Adam was still looking up at where her face was just a second ago. "Adam?"
Nothing.
"Hey!" She clicked her fingers in his face. "Curly Sue!"
Still not a move. He just sat. Staring, his brow lowered in a frown, but suddenly he found it difficult to keep his eyes open as though he was going to fall dead asleep there and then. "Oh, its all coming back." He barely said.
"Adam, what's wrong?"
Everything Adam could hear was tuned out of his brain for a minute, he heard nothing but a strange static noise which disturbed him greatly.
"Adam!"
He jumped and looked at Ronnie.
"Love," she sighed, putting her hand on his face. "get some help."
His took a breath in and his face altered.
"No, no no. Don't freak out. You're not well, you're clearly not well.. Please... Then maybe when you've done that, we can talk about how the hell Mr and Mrs Ant is gonna work on a marriage certificate."
Adam half smiled, he wanted to smile and jump for joy and hug her and kiss her forever, but something seemed to stop him doing that. Instead he closed his eyes and kissed her wrist softly and flicked his tounge across it, making her shivver with delight, and he said, ever so quietly, so quiet Ronnie barely heard him; "Thank you much."

(L)(L)(L)
I love them both.
I mean Adam. Bless.
Squeaky over Marco. (L)

And those tatts. Bless.


MARRIAGEEEEEEE.

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Nine. Friend Or Foe.


In 1982 Adam released his first solo album away from the Ants called 'Friend or Foe', on it a song entitled Goody Two Shoes which he wrote about the first time Ronnie had been to see the Ants play.
"You dont drink?!" Ronnie repeated, her voice going higher than it usually does.
"Or smoke."
"Adam.. You're not rockin'! Popstars dont drink mango juice and if they do they smoke 'til their lungs are blackened and-" She opened his fridge just to check incase the beer was being chilled, but instead she found a glass bottle of milk. "-Milk... Well I think now you're taking rock 'n' roll overboard Adam! You don't drink, you dont smoke... What do you do?"
"I don't do anything." He shrugged.
Ronnie looked at him disappointed as she sat down on the velvet sofa. "Goody two shoes." She mumbled.
The song was an instant #1 and stayed in the UK singles chart for 2 weeks that June.
Despite its dedication to her on that song, it wasn't Ronnie's favorite. Her favorite was Here Comes The Grump, she said it reminded her of childhood and being scared of monsters under the bed, plus she liked the line Doctor said "Adam, sex kills." So come inside and die

In 1983, Emily Regan became Emily Goddard on Christmas Day- she had argued for a white wedding for 3 months so Adam had booked the church for Christmas day.
"I don't want you to call me Ronnie anymore." She whispered in his ear, during their first dance to I Love To Boogie by Marc Bolan which Ronnie had taught Adam to jive for.
"What would you like me to call you?" He asked.
"Madam Ant." She joked.
Adam smiled at her lovingly.

Of course they had invited Les and his wife Doreen (who Adam called Adamum) but Adam hadn't really spoken to Les much all day, he spent most of the time trying to keep his own mother as far away from him as possible, not that she needed any help with that.
Adam walked up to Marco and pushed him into a corner.
"What've I done?!" Marco asked, throwing his hands up in defense.
"Marco Pirroni, it is your job as my best man to ensure that everyone is having a. Good. Time.. My mother however, is not."
"Why not?"
"Because Les is drinking the place dry, and she's starting to get frightened and quite honestly so am I. If he drink's anymore, he'll turn and I dont want that."
"Alright, I'll try and sort him out." Marco nodded, pushing past Adam to go and find Les.
"Thank you." Adam nodded. "Try the bar.. Or the toilets... Or the gutter."
"Hey."
Adam jumped and turned, Ronnie was stood looking beautiful, making him feel like a million dollars. "Hello, you." He smiled, putting his hands on her hips and kissing her nose.
"What are you doing in the corner on your own? You're not sulking are you?"
"Of course not, I'm-"
A raised voice cut Adam off, "It's a wedding!"
Adam sighed, knowing Marco had found Les and told him Adam wanted him to stop drinking.
"Don't get involved." Ronnie tried, but Adam was already walking off.
"Oh 'ere he is!" Les sneered as Adam joined both families. "What you been tellin your monkey in a monkey suit to stop me drinkin for?"
Adam swallowed, scared to answer back incase he kicked off.
"Am I ruining little Stuart's big day am I? Not aloud to enjoy myself now?"
"Alright, Les. Shut up now." Doreen told him, but he didn't seem to be listening.
"Am I ruining your day, petal?" Les slurred, nodding to Ronnie who had joined Adam at his side.
Ronnie's presense seemed to give Adam the courage he needed to stand up to Les. "You're scaring Mum, and I want you to stop drinking or you're gonna have to leave."
Les sniggered. "Your mother, aint my problem no more, Stuart! She's got that.. Whatshisname to look after her now."
"Tony. And he does. He makes her happy, more than you ever did! He's a real hero, he's a proper father!"
Les stepped forward, making Adam panic and think he was going to recieve one right in the face. Thankfully he didnt, but he turned his head as Les was breathing alcohol all over him and grunted. "You remember who you're talking to, boy!"
Adam bit the inside of his cheek.
"Leave it, Les. Maybe he's right, we should go." Doreen said, to which Les spun around and spat at her,
"I think you need to shut you mouth!"
Betty sighed, "Here we go." She walked away and Tony followed her.
"Alright, stop!" Ronnie told him, not wanting him to ruin the day more than he already had.
Adam widened his eyes at her and shook his head.
Les turned to her.
"I want you to leave!" She told him. "Now!"
Les lifted his hand sharply.
"No!" Adam said on a breath, his heart beating in his ear.
Ronnie grabbed Les' wrist, faster than he had raised it. "Thank you for coming Mr. Goddard.."
Les looked at Adam. "No?" He asked, a laugh skipping from his breath. "No? God she didn't raise you properly!"
Ronnie dug her nails into his wrist, making him wince. "Leave, or I'll break it off!"
Les sneered at her one last time before snatching his arm back and storming out of the hall.
Doreen hugged Adam. "I'm so sorry, pet!" She apologised.
Adam sighed in her ear. "It's not your fault, Adamum.. Look after him."
"I will, duck. Dont worry." She turned her attention to Ronnie. "So sorry. You look after Adam wont you?"
"You comin' or what?!" Les growled at Doreen. She turned and walked to him, shouting at him and wearing at him, pushing and shoving him out of the door.
Adam ran away to the toilets shortly followed by Marco. "Adam! Adam, dont!"
Ronnie found Betty, sat at the table looking rather sleepy, Tony by her side, holding her hand. "It's alright now.. He's gone."

"Adam, come on. Calm down. It's over now.." Marco assured.
Adam splashed cold water on his face.
"Adam, are you happy?"
Adam wiped his face on a paper towel. "I thought he was gonna hit her. I really did."
"Yes, but he didn't and thats all that matters.. Put it outta your mind and worry about it tomorrow."

*

Ronnie wandered outside to find Adam sat on the steps. It was dark, and rather cold outside, and he was sat on a step under an electric outdoor light, clean faced, hair neat, in a tuxedo like some prom-wallflower. He was staring at his shiny black shoes, this was an outfit he today took great pride in wearing.
"There you are." She sighed, smiling. "I've been looking for you."
He folded his arms across his knees and rested his chin on them, still looking at the floor.
It was only until Ronnie sat on the step next to him she realised he wasn't looking at the concrete at all. There was a perfect line of ants scurrying out of one of the gaps in the slabs, they seemed to keep coming.
"Ants." He said simply. "Where'd you think they're going?"
Ronnie smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder, kissing his ear. "I dont know. Maybe they're moving house."
"They spend all their lives building conglomerations, why would they leave it all behind?"
Ronnie shrugged. "Maybe they're building an extention."
Adam smiled.
Ronnie wrapped her arms around his neck and burried her face behind his ear, smelling the sweet smell of his hair. "You gonna come back inside? It's cold."
"I wanna stay out here for a while. It's peaceful."
"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
Adam cocked his head at her and lifted her up.
"What are you doing?" She giggled.
He sat her between his legs- her back to him- then took off his tuxedo jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
"Wont you get cold?" She asked, turning to face him.
Adam wrapped his arms around her, one arm around her chest and the other around her middle and rested his head on hers. "I dont care." He replied, quietly, looking out at the dimly lit field.
"You do tease me when you wear suspenders Mr. Ant." Ronnie grinned, having now seen him in black trousers, grey suspenders and a white shirt and dickie bow.
"As you do, with yours Mrs. Ant." He cooed, sliding his hand up the side of her dress and rubbing her thigh.
Ronnie giggled. She'd never felt so confident about anything. "Are you sure you dont wanna talk? I know you've been kind of... Self destructive, and I want you to talk to me if there's something wrong.. I lost my brother to depression, I dont wanna lose you too.."
"Do you know a lullaby?" He asked, spontaniously.
Ronnie shook her head. "Not really. There's one my father used to play to me when it was stormy.. I cant remember the words though. Only the tune.."
"Can I hear it?"
Ronnie paused for a minute before she started humming a tune Adam thought should've been in a music box and it made him feel so very sleepy, like when he was a child and he'd lie up in a terrible nightmare and everything slowed. Like record which should have been played at 45rpm, being forced to play at 33rmp. He thought it had something to do with the way she hummed, he'd never heard her sing before. Ever. He imagined it'd be quite haunting, because that was the feeling he was getting as she hummed. It soothed him as they sat gazing at the stars and listened to crickets, as the army of ants were busily building a new home beneath their feet.

Awwwwwh.
Apart from Les, the prick, that was a perfect wedding.
(L)

And Adam at the end.
Bless his soul.
That's so adorable.

I actually love that pair.

And good on Ronnie for standing up to him.
Cheh.

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Ten. Happy Fucking Birthday.


*1990*

"I cant believe you're away on your birthday." Ronnie whined down the phone.
"I do miss you." Adam assured her.
Both of them were on the phone, watching an old 1940's black and white love story, which had been on for 30 minutes.
"I miss you too."
Adam paused, the sound of rustling came from the other end. "What?" He asked, clearly now with a mouthful of food. "You kissed U2? Which one?"
Ronnie laughed. "I said I miss you too! What are you eating?"
"Potater chips." He told her, forcing an American accent.
"What time is it?"
Another pause. "6."
"I hope you've been eating proper meals!"
"Yeah, I have! I had a hoagie at lunch," He said it in a way Ronnie knew he was smiling. "but I didn't eat it all because it was too big and full of stuff and I got full, so I left it. What time is it at home?"
Ronnie sighed and looked at her watch. "1 am." She smiled.
"Get some sleep."
"Why would I sleep when you've called me from America, in the middle of some film, taking time off from studying, on your birthday no less!"
"You know what I'm gonna miss at 9?"
Ronnie smiled again. "Birthday sex?"
"Birthday sex. Exactly."
"Would you stop?!" Ronnie shrieked at the affenpinscher puppy who was happily pulling the laces out of Ronnie's shoes. Affenpinscher's are possibly most famous for their monkey-like face, so Adam and Ronnie decided to call her Mizaru named after the three wise monkeys.
"I'm not doing anything." Adam defended.
"Not you darling, I'm talking to the dog. GET!"
Mizaru just looked up at her dumbfounded, lace in mouth with a face that said "I dont understand why this is wrong."
"I miss that dog. How is she?" Adam sighed.
"She's being a little shit!"
"She's a curious little pickle, leave her alone." True enough the dog was Adam's. "Am I the only one watching this movie now?"
"I'm watching it! What'd I miss?"
"He's just told her that his real name is Wally, and then she said 'How could I ever love a man named Wally?'."
Ronnie laughed. "She did not!"
"She did!" Adam argued, as people on the screen began to board a train. "Look, now there's people comin' out of her arse."
Ronnie laughed harder, a loud 'A-HA-HA' laugh.
Adam sighed again. "Gosh, you even sound beautiful."
Ronnie blushed and smiled as she laid on her stomach.
"I dont think I've ever missed anyone or anything this much. Ever.."
"You've been away from me before when you've been over there."
"I know, but this is different. This feels.. Different. I'm not gonna lie to you, everytime I close my eyes at night I see you."
Ronnie noticed the man on the screen moving his lips as Adam spoke, making her feel like she was in the movie.
"It's hard. I wanna come home now.."
"So come home then."
"I cant." He sighed.
"Adam?"
"Hm?"
"Mizzy's fallen asleep in your boot."
"Has she?!" He giggled.
"Yeah. She misses you. We both do.. I cant wait 'til next week, I'm gonna LAVISH you with kisses!"
"Hmm. I look forward to it."
Ronnie sat up again and rested her hand on her stomach, This is it she thought. Adam, darling. I'm 4 months pregnant.. Happy fucking birthday. "Adam?"
"Yes Ronnie?"
Somewhere along the line her words got stuck in her throat, and glued to her tonsils making her blurt out, "Marco came over today!" Good one, now he's gonna get suspicious.
"Did he?"
"Yeah. We talked for ages, mostly about you. He misses you, he said he tried calling you 3 times but you didn't answer. Then we went for a walk and he bought me a coffee, he had a cup of tea- to go obviously- then I showed him my dad's shop and my dad was in and he was quite chuffed I'd brought Marco because he's a secret antfan, and he recons Marco's a better guitarist than Hendrix, but he didn't say that to his face he got a bit embarrassed when Marco said he had a nice shop. Oh by the way, you know them paintings I done of them skeletons? Well my Dad's put them in his shop, all 4 of them he has, and the one with the heart and the one playing cards they sold straight away! I got about 400 quid, he didn't want the tax for selling them in his shop just gave it all to me and called it a 'start'."
Adam cleared his throat. "Did you breathe at all when you said that?" He said, clearly smiling his face off. "A start for what?"
She dropped her hand off her stomach. "Nothing. I dont know. You know. Pop's old."
"Pop's not THAT old."
"But he's old. Adam. I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. I dont wanna hang up."
"You get some sleep babe. I'll give you a ring tomorrow, I promise you that."
Ronnie sighed. "I love you, Mr Ant!"
"I love you more, Mrs. Ant."
Ronnie closed her eyes and quietly exploded with giddyness. She still got butterflies when she heard him say 'I love you' to her, but more so when she was reminded she was Mrs Goddard.

*

"Did you tell him?" Marco asked.
Ronnie cleared her throat. "Does this look like the face of a woman who just told her husband she's pregnant?"
"It looks like the face of a woman who was GOING to tell her husband she's pregnant and pussied out. What happened?"
"I was gonna tell him, Marco. I was! But then I started telling him about when we went to my Dad's shop!" She opened the fridge. "I had to get off the phone because I felt like a right battycrease! Here," She took out a plate with 3 chicken legs on it. "eat that would ya, I'm sick of seeing it."
Marco happily accepted the meat and started eating. "So when are you gonna tell him?" He asked, with a mouthful of chicken.
Ronnie poured him a glass of iced tea, knowing full well how dry that chicken was. "Next time he calls maybe. I might have to wait until he comes home." She found a jar of chilli peppers stuffed with feta cheese that took her fancy, got herself a teaspoon and started crunching them down.
Marco's face altered. "You having me on? Chillis? I ask you, they're not even a food!"
"You got problems with my chillis then get the hell off my patch!"
Marco laughed. "I can see why he likes you."
"When are you gonna get married, Marco?"
Marco sniggered doubtfully. "I've got enough with him!"
She knew he meant Adam. "When this baby's born, I want you to be it's Godfather. I know Adam would too.."
"I like it here," He said. "I get chicken and Godchildren, I should come here more often!"

*

"Pet?" Pop shouted. "Petal?"

Eugine "Pop" Regan was about the only family Ronnie had left, her mother died from excessive smoking when Ronnie was a teenager and she never had any siblings. The only family she had left was Pop and his brother Arnie, who was in a care home. He was completely unable, he barely spoke, he barely ate, but he was happy and he would often sing songs from the old days that no one had ever heard of.
Pop on the other hand was the complete opposite, he was the 2 years younger than his brother at 67 and he walked 8 miles every day, he ate healthily, he was always telling jokes and he ran his own shop. Artbox it was called and sold his own work, Ronnie's work and works from local artists along side canvases, paints, brushes and other arty stock. He'd always believed more in the small galleries which sold local artists work than the big city galleries.

"Ronnie?!" He shouted again up the stairs.
She popped her head around the corner. "Yeah?"
"Do me a favour, petal?" He asked, with that signature smile on his face. "In the filing cabinate on the far side, there are invoices."
"Yep." Ronnie agreed, knowing the shop, the store-room and the filing cabinates like the back of her hand.
"Will you find me this months invoice for the stock please, bambino?"
"Sure thing Pop." She disappeared back around the corner and stepped over the canvas she was working on, in her eyes it was a baby in a womb but you wouldn't have known unless you'd asked. She started it when she found out she was pregnant, one of lifes rich tapastries that needed to be on a canvas in oils, and she so hoped it'd be finished for Adam's return the following day.
"Thanks, pet. Be careful though because its a little bit stiff!"
Ronnie mouthed it as she said it, and smiled. "I know, Pop!" She called. the middle of 3 drawers. As she touched the handle to open it the paint on her hands rubbed off onto the plastic. "Woops." She sing-songed, wiping her hands on her baggy denim dungarees which she wore with only a bra underneath because of the hot weather. She tried tugging at the drawer again but it was completely wedged. "Have you heard of WD40?!" She shouted at her father downstairs, while tying back her dirty blonde hair, which had since been permanently Italian permed in the late 80's out of sheer impulse.
"Just about." He responded, which told her he wasn't at all listening.
She laughed and tried tugging it again. "Bloody! THING!"
The drawer opened quickly and hit her in stomach before she had chance to stop it. "Shit! NO!"

*

Adam walked through the front door armed with 2 dozen red roses, he dumped his bag on the floor. "Ronnie?" He called. "I'm home.."
Ronnie didn't answer.
"Pumpkin?" He started walking upstairs. Simon and Garfunkel were playing Scarborough Fair loudly, which made Adam shiver and suddenly feel like he was slap bang in the middle of a horror movie. "Ron'?" He asked again, in hope of getting some response. "Mizzy?"
He opened the bedroom door, she wasn't in there either and nor was the dog. Adam noticed her drawers had been tampered with, some things missing he immediately thought the worst and sat down at the foot of the bed. He turned his body to put the roses on her side of the bed, and noticed the answer machine was flashing, leaving the roses behind he went and attended to it.
If only he knew where the music was coming from, it was starting to make him feel uneasy.
You have 2 new messages. The lady on the machine told him.
Beeeeeeeep
"Adam? It's Pop. Can you call me ASAP, there's been some form of emergency. Thanks.
Adam blinked more times than he needed to. "What kind of emergency?" He asked.
Beeeeeeeep This second beep reminded Adam he wasn't on the phone.
Adam, I think you need to get down the the 'ospital as soon as you get home. AS SOON AS! It's Ronnie, she's... She's had a miscarriage-
"A mis- A what?!"
"She's asked me to stay, I'm here with Pops. She needs you Adam. Be as quick as you can."

Ahhh no! D:
It was meant to be a good surprise! D:

NOOOES!

They were so cute at the start!
And Marco...Bhahahaha bless him!

I want my dad to be like pop! LOL

But...ahhhhhh! D:

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Eleven. Here Comes The Grump.


Adam Ant hated hospitals, and he'd spent far too much of his time in them. As he walked down the hall, he hated the familliar feeling he was getting. The feeling that some way or another, he was home.

"Ma'am?" The nurse said softly.
Ronnie looked up and sighed.
"Your husband's here, would you like me to send him straight in?"
Ronnie nodded. The next face she saw was Adam's, his tranclucent sheen and bright eyes just depressed her more.
Marco looked at them both. "Shall I go?"
Adam nodded. "Thank you." He said as Marco walked out leaving Adam and Ronnie alone.
"Hi." Ronnie croaked.
The look on her face broke his heart, he'd been to depression and he knew it wasn't a very nice place at all, her eyes were dry and bloodshot and her face sticky and tearstained. "That was not a happy hi." He sighed.
Ronnie shook her head and screwed her face up.
"Oh, Ronnie." He whined, going and sitting on the bed, stroking her face. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You know when I told you I went out with Marco and we went to Pop's shop, I was trying to tell you then!"
"What happened?"
Ronnie sighed and uncrumpled the tissue in her hand and wiped her eyes. "Fucking filing cabinate!" She snapped.
Adam held her hand. "How far along?"
"4 months." She sobbed. "That night before you went away.. I forgot to take my pill and I know the condom broke, I just didn't wanna say anything. Then I missed my period so I bought a pregnancy test. I was so scared, Adam. I thought about getting rid of it but there was no way on earth I could've done that to you.. Wether you knew about it or not. Anyway, I spoke to Marco about it and he said I should wait until I was 100% sure on what I was doing before I told you anything to save pulling you up and knocking you down incase you had another..." She cut off and looked up at him. ".. Dizzy spell."
He squeezed her hand slighty, just so she knew that her wording didn't upset him at all.
"But the more I thought about us having a little baby, and how much of an amazing father you'd be, the more I got excited about this thing growing in me. I only told Pop and Marco, I swear and that was only for advice, I was going to tell you I promise. Before you ask, I left the dog at your mums. She understood."
Adam nodded, knowing his mother had been in trouble with her uterus when he was a child and he'd had to stay with foster parents after he was cleared up of shingles because she was unable to take care of him.
"Did you have a good time in the states?" Ronnie asked, trying to change the subject and having to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from crying again.
Adam nodded again. "I missed you though." He assured her.
"Not exactly the homecoming party you were expecting, huh? They're sending me home tomorrow."
Adam nodded for a third time, and started hyperventillating quietly as he heard the screaming coming from down the ward.
"Take me home!"
"Please! I'm not crazy!"
"You're all going to die. They told me so, they told me."
"I'LL SHOW YOU HOSTILE!"
"I'm not crazy, I'm not!"
"Adam?" Ronnie asked. "Adam, are you okay?"
He wheezed.
"Adam?"
He stood up. "I'm sorry I have to go!" He told her, rushing out of the room.
"ADAM!"
Marco blinked several times as Adam darted past him. "Where are you running off to?!" Marco called.
"I cant stay!!" Adam shouted.
"Sodding hell!" Marco sighed, standing up to go and talk to him.
Adam didn't even reach the door before he collapsed on the floor.

*

Adam opened his eyes slowly and recognised the cieling above his head. The damp stained hospital cieling in that painfully white coat of paint.
He blinked while his eyes adjusted, having slept in his contacts, then realised he was lying in a gurney- again.
"No!" He shrieked, shooting up.
A hand pushed him back down again. "Sit down."
Adam turned his head and saw Marco sat beside him. "What happened?"
"You nearly gave both of us a bloody heartattack!" Marco told him. "Jesus Adam, I didn't know what to think! You ran out screamin' then collapsed on the floor!"
"He left me."
Adam sat up and saw Ronnie in the bed beside him. He got out of bed and walked to her. "I didn't leave you."
"You ran off."
"I had a fucking panic attack, I needed air, I was coming back."

*

Ronnie pressed play and held her finger on the up volume button.
Downstairs Adam, who was sleeping on the sofa, was startled into waking up as his own Here Comes The Grump started upstairs. He jumped so much he fell off the sofa straight onto the floor with a thud. "Ouch." he whispered, rubbing the shoulder he had just banged on the coffee table on his way down. He fumbled for his glasses and cursed as he put them on his face. "RONNIE!" He shouted, heading for the stairs.
When you get a number one
The only way is down
And if you have a sticky patch
They start looking, start looking around
Adam walked into the bedroom and turned off the stereo. "Do you want something?"
Ronnie was sat up in bed, looking at him as though he had two heads. "Sorry, did I wake you?" She asked, sarcastically.
Adam sighed. "Ronnie. Please dont."
"Don't what?! Sorry if I'm being a little bit crabby Adam but I just had a miscarriage! I'm crampy, I havent slept in 48 hours, I'm bleeding! You'd be feeling pretty shitty too!"
"I am feeling shitty!" He argued. "I've been depressed Ronnie, I know how you feel and it's breaking my heart."
"Yes but you didn't just lose a child." Shit, Ronnie thought. very poor choice of words!
Adam cocked his head at her. "Oh, I didn't? Right okay."
"Adam, I didn't mean it like that."
Adam shrugged and left the bedroom.
"God' come back, I'm sorry!" Ronnie pleaded. "God'! GODDARD!"
"I'm going out, Ronnie. I'll take the dog for a walk and let you rest."
"Fine!"

*

Adam ended up walking past the laundrette his mother owned, the sign on the door said closed, but she was still in there washing. He rapped on the door.
Betty looked up with a face ready to say "Sorry, closed." but when she saw Adam waving at her pathetically, she smiled and unlocked the door.
"What are you doing, Mum? It's after hours." He asked, kissing her on the forehead, nose and cheek. "I've missed you." He admitted.
"Bless you," She smiled. "Come in," she looked down at the dog. "Hello you!"
Mizaru wagged her tail happily. Adam picked her up and sat her on top of one of the washing machines. "Sit there," He told her "and behave yourself."
Betty laughed, lovingly. "What are you doing, Stuart?" She asked, watching him shift a basket of laundry to sit in the chair.
He sighed. "It's just a difficult time, Ma... I shouldn't have left really but I was too upset to stay."
Betty pulled up a chair infront of him and held his hand in both of hers. "Stuart, what's happened now?"
"She started playing a song really loud and it woke me up, when I went up there to ask her if she wanted something she just started being really agressive. I tried to sympathise with her but she wasn't having it."
"She's hurting, love. She just needs to rest for a couple of days and then she'll be ready to face the world again.. It might not feel right for a few weeks, but she'll soon be back to normal."
"I hope so.. Why are you working so late? Where's Tony?"
"He's at home, I told him I'd be working late tonight, he's cooking us some dinner later. He's picking me up in an hour, dont worry... Come on, Stu'. Cheer up, I'll put the kettle on pickle, you can tell me about how much of a lovely time you had in America, and how much you missed the smell of laundry detergent."
Adam inhailed deeply. "Home sweet home."

Awwwwh Adam. D:
And Ronnie.
Bless them.
Poor sods.

And Adam having a panic attack. Shitting hell.
I hopes they're okay soon!

Although Adam's mum's so lovely bless her!

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Twelve. It's Time For Me To Leave You Now.


Adam didn't get home until early morning, he'd walked for hours. Unfortunately, Mizaru had fallen asleep en route, so Adam had to carry her the rest of the way home.
He put her in her basket and when he turned around Ronnie was walking down the stairs carrying a hold-all.
"You shouldn't be-" He cut off.
"Oh God, you couldn't have been 10 more minutes?"
"Going somewhere?"
"I so hoped you wouldn't be here.. I didn't want it to hurt. I cant stay here, Adam. I need time.. On my own you need... You need time."
He shook his head.
"You do. Every day I can see this illness eating away at you and it's killing me!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "So I'm leaving you-"
"No!"
"-Just for a little while!"
Adam collapsed, literally, he crawled at her feet and begged. "No please dont leave me!"
"It'll just be a couple of months."
"A couple of months is a couple too many, please Ronnie! Please!"
Ronnie was terrified, she had to leave because she knew it'd do them both good but she wanted to stay because she was terrified of what he'd do to himself if she left. "It's too late, Adam."
"No! No it isnt! Ronnie, please dont go, without you I'm.. I'm fucked. Telling me I can't see you is like telling me I cant have air. I can't live without air and I can't live without you."
Ronnie started to cry, really cry. "I have to go." She sobbed.
Adam grabbed her jeans and twisted it in his fist as he started ranting at her, about eachother, about his band, about things she hadn't even asked about.
"You're scaring me!!" She shouted.
Adam stopped dead, shocked and disgusted at his own behavior, he'd made a fool of himself again.
Ronnie reached into her oversized, heavy cardigan's pocket and pulled out a small jar, labelled Ronnie's Thump-Thump. and inside it was an accurate plastacine model of a human heart. "Look after that for me." She sniffed, crouching down and putting the jar in his shaking hands. "It's always belonged to you."
"Please dont go." He tried one more time, this time he said it in a pathetic tone of voice, feeling like there was absolutely nothing he could do, feeling useless and lost.
Ronnie shook her head and kissed his cheek. "I love you."
Adam wiped his eyes on his sleeve, when he opened his eyes again Ronnie had gone.
He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there, but he shot up long after she'd left and went outside in the rain and she was nowhere to be seen. Ronnie had gone, and he didn't know where.

Adam didn't fall asleep until 5am, he sat up all night worrying about his wife and panicing about what he'd done to make her run away, all the while he had her heart in the jar tucked away between his hand and his chest.
He spent the next 3 days in bed, he hadn't eaten he'd hardly slept, the dog was going mad and the only time he did get out of bed was to feed and water her, but then he'd miander up the stairs again and fall onto the sheets, depressingly.
On the third day the phone rang, Adam ignored it and let it ring to the machine.
"Hello, you're through to Ronnie and Adam,"
"Neither of us can get to the phone because we're doing it!"
"Adam!!"
"Leave a message!"
"I'm gonna kill you!"
Beeeeeeeep
The next voice he heard was gruff, and pissed off sounding. Marco Pirroni. "Adam... I know you're there mate so dont bullshit me into thinking you're not.. Pick the phone up, I'm not talking to you like this."
Adam sighed. Maybe Marco isn't such a bad idea, Adam thought, He'll listen. Even if I dont say anything, he'll listen Adam reached out his arm and picked up the phone. "Yes?"
"Ronnie asked me to call you," Marco explained. "Make sure you're alright, make sure you..." Marco trailed off.
"Hadn't killed myself?" Adam asked.
Marco sighed, he meant that but he didn't want to say it. "You're on your own, if anything happened no one would even know."
"I'd know."
"Right... How are you, Adam?" It wasn't just idle banter, it was a genuine question, he really wanted to know. He didn't want a "Fine, how are you?".
"I'm broken, Marco." Adam admitted. "I cant eat, I cant sleep.. I only want her." He sighed and said the next line as though it was a chore. "My sexual need is almost unbarable."
"Adam, its been 5 days."
"That's 4 fucks I haven't had.. Marco, sex is the only thing that keeps me some sort of sane. I know she woluldn't want to because of the accident but I dont really want to leave the house to go looking for it."
"Then dont."
Adam waited a moment before he spoke again. "I'm frightened.. Every minute without her, I'm reminded of my illness. I hit myself in the jaw to remind me. I want to cry but I cant."
"What'd you hit yourself in the jaw for?"
"Because it hurts."

*

Adam knew the only way he could stop himself going insane, was to work. So he booked himself 2 days in the studio. Just himself alone with a guitar, a notebook and his lyric making pen.
By the end of the first day he'd written half a song, he couldn't remember the last time he'd written a song without Marco. On his way out of the studio, he was stopped by a beautiful young woman, she was at least 5 years younger than he was, but had the brighest eyes and such a charming smile.
"Sorry," she apologised. "you left your scarf on the seat."
"Oh, thanks a lot."
"I was watching you in there, I wasn't listening though.. Just watching. You play beautifully." She started stammering. "I-I knew which chords you were playing and I played them in my head.. You've got a lot of charisma surrounding you, sir.. But there seems to be a weight on your shoulders."
Adam cocked his head at her, wondering how on earth she knew.
"Sorry, was that too bold?"
He shook his head. "Not too bold at all."
The girl had nodded and apologised again, before rushing back into the building.
Adam frowned and unrolled the scarf, a small scrap of paper fell into his hand.
My name is Lynn. I'm 29.
I'm rather advanced in healing mind, body and soul.
Give me a ring?
She'd scribbled a number at the bottom and Adam had wondered if maybe she knew that what he needed was female company.
The following day, he called her and they'd talked for hours laughing at everything and nothing before moving up to the spare room- Adam couldn't take another woman to the bed he shared with Ronnie- and they made love for what felt like hours. Lynn had only stayed for an hour afterwards, before kissing him on the cheek, thanking him and leaving.
After Lynn, Adam started sleeping with different women, sometimes in the same day at different times and places. It wasn't at all the first time he had done this while being with Ronnie, and she knew this. She knew what he was and she knew when he was away what he had to do, all she asked was that he didn't flaunt his 'relations' infront of her face, which he would never dream of doing.
Adam heard on the grapevine one day that Ronnie- or as she was named from the person he was listening in on 'Adam Ant's bird'- had apparently slept with someone else, he was enraged with jealousy, but he didn't want to be hypocritical.

It'd been a month and Adam had been through more women than he'd had hot dinners but none of them compared to Ronnie, the need grew stronger every day. Even if she wasn't ready to come home yet, all he wanted was a phone call to tell him that she was alright.
Adam still wasn't sleeping very well, without Ronnie next to him, it just felt like 8 hours of death every night. One night he had woken up at 4am, unable to get back to sleep, he got out of bed and put his glasses on and wandered to the bookshelf, he picked out a book and got back into bed.
Backcloth by Dirk Bogarde. As he opened it, a perfecly flat piece of paper landed in his lap. He picked it up and read it, it was the letter he had recieved from Les shortly after being arrested for making innapropriate suggestions to a minor. It was the first time Adam had discovered how suicidal his father had become.
If I had the strength of character or will I would finish it knowing what is yet to come.
Well I brought it on myself. God what I've done to you, Mum and the familly. I have not the right to ask your forgiveness, not even the right to ask you to regard me as your father. Ant yet I do so write. Try in time to forgive me my dear son.
Adam sighed, he still wasn't sure if he had totally forgiven Les for anything.
It was that moment when the phone rang, he frowned wondering who'd be calling at 4 in the morning. Curiosity forced him to answer.
"Adam?"
Adam sat up straight again, pushing the book and the letter aside. "Ronnie?"
"Yeah, its me.."
Adam sighed in relief. "Thank God. Are you okay? Are you safe?"
"I'm fine." She croaked. "Are you okay? Marco said you sounded stand-offish on the phone.. I had one of those feelings I get and I know you think they're stupid but.. I couldn't hold out anymore so.. Here I am. You haven't been having any dark thoughts have you?"
Adam bit the inside of his cheek. "No." He lied. "Have you?"
"Why would I?"
Adam didn't answer.
"I'm a lot better now.. I got my period again a couple of days ago."
"That's good." Adam nodded, not really sure if it was good or not.
"Adam?"
"Yes, Ronnie?"
"Have you been sleeping around?"
He didn't want to answer at all.
Ronnie only took his silence as a yes. "How many?"
He sighed. "I dont know."
"Really? That many?"
"Well come home then!" He managed to half shout down the phone, he didn't mean it to come out quite like it did but he was starting to feel quite angry at her because she'd left with no word as to why other than blaming it on his illness, which at that moment reminded him he hadn't taken his medication today so he forced himself out of bed again and into the bathroom.
"I don't want to come home, Adam," She replied viciously. "I'm not ready!"
"Right, well you let me know when you're ready!" He held the phone to his ear with his shoulder and poured 2 pills into his hand, putting the lid back on the bottle and putting them back in the cabinate. "How much time do you think you'll need exactly? It's been a month, Ronnie, dont remember you on the other line!"
"I've been trying to get my head around things, Adam! I told you! I needed space!"
"Yes, but what you failed to tell me, sweetheart, is that 'space' was exactly the same height, depth and breadth as me!"
"Oh." She sighed.
"Yes." He agreed. "Shit."
"Don't be a fucking hypocrit, Adam!"
"It's not even that you fucked another guy, its the fact you weren't even going to tell me!"
"Oh so would you like to talk about your fuck-fest, Mr Ant? Who with? How many times? Who was the best? Would you do any of them again? How many did you manage to knock out in one day?"
Adam giggled. "Oh, Ronnie. How do I love thee, let me count the ways!"
"Don't get sarcy, you cunt or I'll rip your dick off!"
"Oh are we down to threats now? How exciting. You were worried about me and I actually believed you, what an idiot."
"I was- I am worried!"
Adam cleared his throat. "Well, I'm not going to be here as of next monday."
"Why?"
Adam put some water from the tap into a glass and swallowed his tablets.
"Adam?"
"I'm going to America. I've been offered a couple more parts in some TV shows."
"So you're just gonna leave me here?"
Adam sniggered. "Darlin, you left me." Adam was trying to remain calm, this was the first argument they'd ever had, ever. In the whole time they'd known eachother, so he didn't know what to think.
"Right then."
"You know where you can find me if you decide to show your face again and start being a wife again."
Ronnie scoffed. "Bye Adam."
Adam sighed. "Bye."

D:
Adaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.
Ronnieeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Noooooes.

Marco come make it better plz.

Poor things.
Don't fight!

Title: Antics.
Pairing: Adam Ant/RP
Disclaimer: Dont sue me I have so little to give!
Rating: 15+




Thirteen. I Heard You Were Having A Hard Time.


*One year later*

It was fast approaching the end of 1991, and the start of '92.
Adam had stayed in America, and got a couple of fresh new acting roles, but he'd also aquired a stalker, which had him scared every day of his life. She was convinced they were in love.

One night, Adam was sat playing an acoustic guitar, going back to the song he had started writing last year but never finished when he was startled by a knock at the door.
"Shit." He cursed quietly. Mizaru padded at his feet as if she was telling him There's someone at the door, Adam..
He gulped and went to answer the door, holding his guitar by the fretboard, thinking if he had to, he'd smash it.
The door opened slowly. Adam held his breath when he saw Ronnie stood at his front door, in a pair of denim shorts, a plaid shirt and that big heavy cardigan she loved so much. "I heard you were having a bad time."
The guitar fell out of his hand and made him jump as it landed on the floor. "Shit.. Do you wanna come in?"
Ronnie nodded and stepped into Adam's house.
"How did you find me?"
"I asked. I've only just got here, I spent the whole flight with You Can't Set Rules About Love in my ears and I cried for the whole flight. I heard you'd got yourself a member of the crazy folks tribe and that made me realise.. How much I need you, how much I want you. This past year has been hell without you Adam!"
Adam noticed she'd lost so much weight, which worried him a lot
"So I'm here to ask you if you'll let me be your wife again.." Ronnie sighed. "I have no right to ask you, I was a chicken shit. I just think if we hadn't lost the baby things would've been different."
Adam sighed and looked at his feet, wiggling his toes in his socks for reasons unknown. "Just tell me you're sorry."
Ronnie tutted. "I am sorry."
Adam nodded and kissed her. The 'I forgive you' kiss soon turned into a 'Don't ever leave me again' kiss and soon enough that turned into an 'I want you now' kiss.
Ronnie pushed him back into the living room and started unbuckling his belt, before unbuttoning his trousers.
"I'd really rather-" He started, put Ronnie had pushed him back onto the sofa and climbed on top of him "-okay then." He didn't have time to argue and she kissed him again.
He pulled back again. "Wait its not-"
"Will you shut up?! Sheeeesh, it's been a whole year since I last had Antaction! Now I have you on a platter and you wont shut the fuck up!"
"Shutting up."
They made love on the sofa and then again when Ronnie had crept up on him in the shower. Then they sat up in bed with a movie sharing a bowl of fruit loops. Ronnie kept picking them from the bowl and resting them on her tounge, which Adam sucked off. At once point Ronnie had laughed at the movie and dribbled milk down her chin and breasts. "Oh fuck!" She cursed.
Adam willingly licked the milk from her, which of course lead to another romp.
They had a puresex weekend. To them it was perfection.

Ronnie was laying on Adam's back as he read a book in bed that sunday morning. The sun was shining through the curtains and they were both still naked and sticky from sweating. "Adam?" Ronnie asked, nibbling at his ear.
"Mmmhmm."
"Because you've got a dog... Can I have a cat?"
"Sure." He agreed.
"Really?!"
"Yep."
"Jeeze, I didn't think you'd say yes."
Adam sighed and turned his head to look at her. "Ronnie, you are on my back. Naked... I am at your hand for that!"
"Really? You fancy another go then?" She giggled, kissing his back.
"I put out all weekend, can I have a rest for a bit?"
"Nooo slave!"
"Am I just a piece of meat to you?"
"Of course you are! But you're garnished with herbs and served with all sorts of lovelies so its all good."
Adam closed the book and rolled over, so he was on top of her, making her shriek. "You're gonna get into serious trouble one of these days."
"Sundayspanker!" She blurted out quickly, before adding. "There's a whip in my valise."
Adam kissed her neck and let his hand go wandering. He stopped quickly and said "You know what?"
"What?" Ronnie moaned.
Adam rolled off her and put his boxers on. "I'm gonna let you sweat a little."
Ronnie sat up. "Are you kidding?!"
Adam started to get dressed for the day. "Nope."
"You filthy fucking tease!"
"Remember that time, we had a really filthy time in the bedroom?"He leant forward so his nose was almost touching hers and lowered his voice. "and I was begging for more and you just.. toddled off with a vicious grin on your face." He flicked his tounge across her lips and smiled the same vicious smile he meant. "Payback."
Ronnie wanted to smile but she forced it away. "I hate you."
Adam pouted and Ronnie snapped like a snake, and hooked her teeth onto his bottom lip which made him laugh a really dirty laugh, a laugh Ronnie had never heard him do before.

*

Ronnie decided to go shopping in Los Angeles. She'd had several months to get used to the big city. It was early January of 1992, Adam was spending some time in Manhattan, filming for a new vampire spoof called 'Love Bites: The Reluctant Vampire'.
She had a childish desire to visit the toy store, so thats exactly what she did. "Wow.." She mumbled, looking around at all the cuddly toys and noise makers and dolls she only dreamt of having as a child.
She must've been in there 15 minutes before she was approached by a man who looked strangely like Columbo. He stood looking at her for several minutes.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
"Oh, you're.. You're English." He stammered. "You must.. You must miss England."
"Yeah, like a hole in the head." She replied sarcastically. "Excuse me." Ronnie pushed past him and head for the door.
"How far along?" He asked.
Ronnie stopped and turned to him. "Wha'?" She asked.
He pointed at her stomach. "How.. How far along?"
"I'm sorry you must be mistaken.."
"Excuse me Mrs. Ant? Is this man bothering you?"
Ronnie looked to her left and saw a security guard, she was more shocked at fact she'd been recognised as Adam Ant's wife than she was at the fact a local crazy thought she was pregnant and a security guard came from apparently no where. "Yes.." She replied simply.

When Ronnie got hom she found several police officers at the door along side an ambulance.
"What's happened?!" She asked.
"This your residence ma'am?" One of the officers asked.
"Yeah, I'm Ronnie Goddard... or Ant, whatever. Has something happened to Adam? Is he okay?"
"He's in there." He nodded his head towards the house.
Ronnie stepped in and jumped when she heard Adam screaming "NO! I'm not going ANYWHERE! So you can all just leave!"
"Mr. Ant, we need to get you to a hospital."
"I'm not going anywhere until my wife gets here! Don't you need to read me like my last rites or tell me I have the right to an attorney or something?"
"You're not dying, nor are we arresting you.. We understand you're not well and we'd like to do some check ups."
Ronnie approached the kitchen. Adam was stood with his back against the fridge holding a knife to his own throat and 3 paramedics at the opposite end infront of Ronnie, trying to reason with him.
One of them stepped forward. "Mr. Ant."
Adam pointed at him. "N- DONT!" He snapped, pushing the knife in his throat even more, making it bleed. He started crying. "Don't."
Ronnie pushed through the paramedics. "Adam.." She soothed. "What's happened?"
Adam slid down the fridge to the floor and cried huge tears. "She wouldn't go away." He sobbed.
Ronnie walked to him and pulled the knife from his hand and threw it in the sink before he threw his arms around her.
"Oh God." Ronnie started crying. "Go with them Adam! I lost Stuart dont make me lose you too."

*

Ronnie was there in the psyciatric ward with him when he fell asleep, then she would go home and sleep, and be there again when she woke up. Most of the time he didn't speak, he didn't want to eat, but she sat there and held his hand and she spoke to him, talked to him for hours knowing that really all he wanted was someone to be there for him.
As the weeks past, she noticed him getting better each day and on his second month, things would change for the better. Not only had Ronnie noticed him talking more, eating more but Adam had noticed she was putting on weight. The right kind of weight.

"How are you feeling today?" Ronnie asked.
Adam half smiled at her and nodded.
"Better?"
Just tell me already, He thought. I already know, but its going to burst out of me like an alien if you dont say it!
Adam noddded and squeezed his eyes together, forcing back laughter.
"What's funny?" Ronnie asked, smiling, this being the first time he'd laughed in 2 months, wondering why he wanted to hide it.
His smile became uncontrollable as he put his hand over his mouth.
"Hey." Ronnie giggled. "Have they changed your meds or something?"
Adam stopped smiling and looked up at the cieling, he was still smirking but trying not to.
"Adam? Seriously?"
He looked at her and cracked. "Are you?" He asked.
"Am I what?"
"Just please tell me you are so I can get the hell out of here. Baby, I know weight gain and thats not... Thats-"
Ronnie smiled. "I am... I'm pregnant. And I'll be more careful this time.. Who'd have though $15 could change your whole life?"
Adam was completely lost for words, and this time he wasn't trying to hide the uncontrollable smile, he just let it run wild.
"It's nice to see those pearly whites." Ronnie said, quietly.
"How long?"
"That puresex weekend we had a couple of months back.. When I first came here.. One of those many many love making sessions you knocked me up. How does that make you feel?" She joked.
Adam rubbed his nose against hers and kissed her upper lip.
The curtain zipped open and a rather large African-American nurse was stood with a chart and half moon glasses half way down her nose. "Alright, Mr. Ant isn't it? How are you feeling today, sugar?" She put her fingers on his pulse, which he had worked out she was doing so she knew he wasn't lying.
Adam glanced at Ronnie and then back up at his nurse. "I think I'm ready to go home now." He admitted, with the tone of voice and face like a toddler who'd finished all his dinner and was eagerly awaiting the custard he was promised.